Quote:
Originally Posted by InfiniteFemme
Open your eyes, do you not see me? How many times I have thought these words... And sadly, these words in my mind have been given life from those who say they have loved me the most. It's so sad really, but what we must learn to do, is open our eyes and see ourselves -- tricky at times, for most of us long to be seen and acknowledged as the beautiful, brilliant and strong femmes we are.
Julie
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Only halfway through this thread but I am stuck in the gut by these two posts.. I AM NOT INVISIBLE and I am/was treated as such...Loved by those who never saw me!..so hard for anyone to understand those words unless you .. like me have been standing there as they walk right through you!..I cried myself to sleep for far to long..questioning why I wasnt what she/hy use to see anymore..when did I put on the cloak of invisibility? Was it given to me or did I find it on my own..I found myself safe in a place that I was never seen. Ya I hear/heard "I love you baby"..but who exactly was she/hy speaking to? not me!..at me..not to me..words that bound me to stay..fear of being alone kept me..and then always falling into the mindset of "oh this isn't so bad, I have a nice house and a tolerable life.." how do you find your way out of that? how do you become visable again? How do you without feeling selfish in your choice? she/hy is quite content to live this way..no passion, no desire.. I N V I S A B I L I T Y. is NOT a superpower..it is the opposite..it rendered/s me powerLESS..I am not very articulate in my posts because I type as I think..so sorry for that lol..It was a tuff place to be..but fear kept me..common sense made me leap!..and It was fabulous!
As far as femme identity.. I have always been feminine to the extreme..at least thats what they told me..I do not like to get my hands/fingernails dirty..but I have no problem getting my freak on after mudbogging!. BUT.its by choice lol..I prefer to stay clean and proper for hym..but hy doesnt always want me that way either..Im flawed just like every other human..male or female that walks this earth..but being femme for me..It is who I am not what I am..Yes I get a mani/pedi..yes I love to be pampered by hym..but I am just as comfortable in my good ole "come fuck me pumps" as I am in my pink flip flops!..I wear a baseball cap to hide a bad hair day lol..and I take extra time to to fix my hair when I wnt..I am quite capable of running to the store w/o makeup on..althought this is not my preferred way..I am a mother and I work and I do live in the REAL world where not everythingis perfect.. .I believe at least for me ..its in my manurisms..I think standing next to any butch it is very obvious how my community will identify me.because most people need that..I identify with it because It really is who I am..I am FEMMenine woman who likes.the contrast between the feminine and masculine woman it is a huge turn on for me..its what makes me always take that second look at a fine looking butch..Their dynamic is sexy and appealing and confident!..
People who don't like lables are not wrong or incorrect for thinking they dont..but for me..I am indifferent..I don't really care..
after all I do have a bumper sticker that reads "you say im a bitch like its a bad thing" HEY i have earned it lol..so..peace out on that!
and I do also agree with the femme sister thingy!...I have a few straight female friends..but I am most comfortable in my own community with my gay friends..its an unspoken understanding..and half the time with my straight friends it turns into Gay lessons 101..it can be exhausting explaing any dynamic..lol
sorry for this ridiculously long post..I love coming here and totally being me..as random as I am..
I love my life..more each day!
Lillie