Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - What are your three non-negotiables (in a relationship)?

imperfect_cupcake · 05-20-2014, 12:47 PM

I kinda go with that assumption that honesty, integrity and all The general whatsits are a given. Surely, who would NOT pick those as fairly basic.

But beyond that I need things. I have tried to be with very nice people who are unable to provide certain other things and noatter what, I can't do it. Honesty, respect, love, integrity is really not enough. I need sexual compatibility, similar humour, playfulness, intelligence, the ability to banter, a thicker skin, someone who either an atheist or their spiritual life does not need to be shared within the relationship. Someone who isn't at the mercy of their moods. I cannot date borderline personality or.certain kinds of OCD because it sets off my own shit too much. Someone who is not capricious or mercurial. Who has similar values to mine in most, though not all, things. And who's politics ate at least similar or our values will be too different.

Also they have to love conversation. That's a biggie for me.

They have to want similar things from a relationship or it won't work.

So I have quite a few things above and beyond the basic stuff everyone has as necessary to make a commitment to someone.

Mainly because if I do make another commitment, I hope it's the last one. And I'm not going to be too keen on emotionally investing in things that I know from experience don't work for me.

05-20-2014, 12:47 PM	#296
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I kinda go with that assumption that honesty, integrity and all The general whatsits are a given. Surely, who would NOT pick those as fairly basic. But beyond that I need things. I have tried to be with very nice people who are unable to provide certain other things and noatter what, I can't do it. Honesty, respect, love, integrity is really not enough. I need sexual compatibility, similar humour, playfulness, intelligence, the ability to banter, a thicker skin, someone who either an atheist or their spiritual life does not need to be shared within the relationship. Someone who isn't at the mercy of their moods. I cannot date borderline personality or.certain kinds of OCD because it sets off my own shit too much. Someone who is not capricious or mercurial. Who has similar values to mine in most, though not all, things. And who's politics ate at least similar or our values will be too different. Also they have to love conversation. That's a biggie for me. They have to want similar things from a relationship or it won't work. So I have quite a few things above and beyond the basic stuff everyone has as necessary to make a commitment to someone. Mainly because if I do make another commitment, I hope it's the last one. And I'm not going to be too keen on emotionally investing in things that I know from experience don't work for me.