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EnchantedNightDweller · 08-08-2014, 09:20 PM

"We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us." Alcoholics Anonymous p. 84

I finally told my sponsor about what I had been up to. What she said surprised me, "Sounds like recovery." "No," I said, "It took me too long to let go."
But as I drove to the meeting tonight, I thought of all that had happened and how I had responded. I thought about how I had said, "What kind of an example would I be to my daughter?" These types of thoughts didn't used to come naturally to me. I used to be so selfish. All I cared about was instant gratification, how I could make myself feel better. I didn't think about what would happen to my daughter if I was killed or killed someone else in a car accident. I didn't think of how she would feel if I was in jail. I didn't care if I lost my job and couldn't provide for her. I didn't care that she looked up to me and would model everything that I did. I didn't care that I was her mom and that she was counting on me to do the right thing.
I just couldn't see those things back then, it didn't come to me at all much less "intuitively." Knowing right from wrong and doing the right thing is not always an easy choice for me. Sometimes doing the wrong thing seems so much more attractive until I find myself there. Just like they say that a head full of AA will ruin your drinking, it also will ruin your plans to do the wrong thing.
So I texted my sponsor and told her what I had said and that maybe she was right after all. Maybe it is recovery.

08-08-2014, 09:20 PM	#2345
EnchantedNightDweller Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: her, she Relationship Status: Being single is a good thing and I like it. Join Date: Jun 2014 Location: Texas Posts: 1,492 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,907 Thanked 2,462 Times in 803 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	"We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us." Alcoholics Anonymous p. 84 I finally told my sponsor about what I had been up to. What she said surprised me, "Sounds like recovery." "No," I said, "It took me too long to let go." But as I drove to the meeting tonight, I thought of all that had happened and how I had responded. I thought about how I had said, "What kind of an example would I be to my daughter?" These types of thoughts didn't used to come naturally to me. I used to be so selfish. All I cared about was instant gratification, how I could make myself feel better. I didn't think about what would happen to my daughter if I was killed or killed someone else in a car accident. I didn't think of how she would feel if I was in jail. I didn't care if I lost my job and couldn't provide for her. I didn't care that she looked up to me and would model everything that I did. I didn't care that I was her mom and that she was counting on me to do the right thing. I just couldn't see those things back then, it didn't come to me at all much less "intuitively." Knowing right from wrong and doing the right thing is not always an easy choice for me. Sometimes doing the wrong thing seems so much more attractive until I find myself there. Just like they say that a head full of AA will ruin your drinking, it also will ruin your plans to do the wrong thing. So I texted my sponsor and told her what I had said and that maybe she was right after all. Maybe it is recovery.