Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - What are your three non-negotiables (in a relationship)?

imperfect_cupcake · 09-12-2014, 12:27 AM

I've had to rethink a lot of stuff. It's hard to pick three. I think I can limit it to five. Lol

1) sexual chemistry - it's has to be there, they have to be dominant, at least prone to a bit of sexual sadism, at least a bit of a papa bear. I got to rediscover an old part of myself recently and I felt like I was truly comfortable again. I've decided to stick with that. And I don't want to give it up again. It's such an easy and natural way to be.

2) sense of humour match - they have to be sarcastic, dark humoured and quick. Banter. Playful. Kid sense of play to mine.

3) they gotta love the talk - intoverted/extroverted don't care, but if you don't, at the core, enjoy discussion, a bit of debate, sharing stories about yourself and being present and able to sit with being uncomfortable and hashing something out, then it really won't work with me.

4) steady - meaning you don't change your mind constantly, you aren't moody, you don't storm off and sulk, you stay and talk. You don't tell me you want one thing on Thursday and then a week later you suddenly want something else. Then a week later it changes again. You are emotionally stable. I don't care if you are a bit crusty and misanthropic, as long as you think I'm the bees knees and stick to that. Don't come in with tides of joy, then cry for four hours then sulk then ... You have no idea how many of my partners were like this.
Recently I dated someone emotionally stable and I was shocked to find how easy the relationship was (aside from the challenges of differing ideas etc which I don't mind hashing out), how unstressful, and how much care *I* got for a change. Someone actually want to look after *me*. That please!!!

5) although I'm a feisty submissive and I adore the living bejesus out of you, and I'm a very devoted partner, I want my independence. I even enjoy the kink of sexual ownership. These tits still belong to you, babes, but right now, I need to go deal with school, have some time to myself, a bit of time with friends, and I don't want to live with a partner. But boy I will spoil you when you show up for dinner/the weekend. Knock your papa bear socks off. And it's bloody great you want to spoil me back.

09-12-2014, 12:27 AM	#311
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I've had to rethink a lot of stuff. It's hard to pick three. I think I can limit it to five. Lol 1) sexual chemistry - it's has to be there, they have to be dominant, at least prone to a bit of sexual sadism, at least a bit of a papa bear. I got to rediscover an old part of myself recently and I felt like I was truly comfortable again. I've decided to stick with that. And I don't want to give it up again. It's such an easy and natural way to be. 2) sense of humour match - they have to be sarcastic, dark humoured and quick. Banter. Playful. Kid sense of play to mine. 3) they gotta love the talk - intoverted/extroverted don't care, but if you don't, at the core, enjoy discussion, a bit of debate, sharing stories about yourself and being present and able to sit with being uncomfortable and hashing something out, then it really won't work with me. 4) steady - meaning you don't change your mind constantly, you aren't moody, you don't storm off and sulk, you stay and talk. You don't tell me you want one thing on Thursday and then a week later you suddenly want something else. Then a week later it changes again. You are emotionally stable. I don't care if you are a bit crusty and misanthropic, as long as you think I'm the bees knees and stick to that. Don't come in with tides of joy, then cry for four hours then sulk then ... You have no idea how many of my partners were like this. Recently I dated someone emotionally stable and I was shocked to find how easy the relationship was (aside from the challenges of differing ideas etc which I don't mind hashing out), how unstressful, and how much care I got for a change. Someone actually want to look after me. That please!!! 5) although I'm a feisty submissive and I adore the living bejesus out of you, and I'm a very devoted partner, I want my independence. I even enjoy the kink of sexual ownership. These tits still belong to you, babes, but right now, I need to go deal with school, have some time to myself, a bit of time with friends, and I don't want to live with a partner. But boy I will spoil you when you show up for dinner/the weekend. Knock your papa bear socks off. And it's bloody great you want to spoil me back.