[Rockinonahigh]

My body has never matched who I was,as a kid,before age 12 I looked like one of the boy's in nearly every way.I ran around shirtless and bare foot swimming in the river,climbing trees and playing ball regular boy things.My grand folks let me be who I wanted to be and were glad I was healthy cause for a long time being a very small preemie they were glad to see me just be happy( for the most part) and healthy.Mom hated the boy I was and insisted I be more of the girl I should have been no matter how much I hated to wear the clothes she bought.Then puberty hit,I felt betrayed by the body I had.This wasn't spoken about in my family cause mom had a thing that sex was nasty,dirty and something only bad people did..yeah I know makes no sence.I wen't to a private school that except for the winter I wore the pleated skirt,white shirt with tie,vest and blazer along with black or dark blue saddle oxfords that wasn't to bad.Only under great provacation I wore a dressed as she insistied I do,but the boy stayed close to himself through hell and fire plus whatever mo could do to try to change me.Heck my body just never looked girly no mater what it is what it is.She sen't to a shrink once and she ask why I didn't wan't to wear girl clothes,I simply told her I look like a boy in drag when I do and besides I look just fine in boy clothes.It use to piss mom off real bad when people saw my baby pictures when I wasn't in boy clothes cause unless they were told I was a girl they thought I was a handsome little boy.I know I weigh more now that I ever have 258.I know I am loosing it as I go just eating healthy and staying active as I can...I don't wan't to be skinny I like being husky,ya know what they say about us big guys.. more to snuggle with on cold winter nights.