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01-11-2015, 11:19 AM

It took too many years to come across genderqueer as an identity. The moment I heard/read it I knew it fit me to a tee.

Heavily socialised as female in my birth family I had proclaimed long and loudly that I wasn't like everyone else and that I felt myself to be neither male nor female but a third gender.

I didn't come out until I was 26yrs old [25yrs ago this month] and a major personal puzzle piece was put in place and felt 'right'.

From thereon I found myself on the androgene spectrum. Butch never felt right for me. I'm more Beau Brummel than Mike the Mechanic [yes I know butch comes in all flavours in reality]; Infact, I'm a wee 'glitter poof'

I came across genderqueer as id/label on what was the main UK BF website at the time. Age 39 and half I discovered my gender label, the one that I could happily accept and inhabit. It too put another large piece of my personal puzzle into place.

I love my self chosen labels and have never eschewed their use. I am empowered by my labels which have helped me explain and claim who I am for myself chiefly and by happenstance have helped indicate to others who/what I identify as. A few of those labels are community specific and don't make much sense to those not part of those communities though.
In my experience explaining genderqueer to mainstream lesbians (and every other group bar kinsters) is nigh on impossible. I know this because I've tried on many, many occasions with many, many non-BF 'gay' folks. But then try explaining Daddy to non-kink folks too.

Currently my life is mainly populated by hetero folk. It has created much consternation for me in their lack of acceptance of difference, of anything they've not come across before, of their refusal to think of gender as anything other than binary but I am powerless over people, places and things and therefore cannot make others see me as I see myself. I can only lead by non-judgemental, accepting example.

In summary, I have found over the years, a distinct lack of understanding around genderqueer, except in our very small b/f/t microcosm.

01-11-2015, 11:19 AM	#11
Daktari Guest Tournaments Won: 1 Posts: n/a My Photo Gallery	It took too many years to come across genderqueer as an identity. The moment I heard/read it I knew it fit me to a tee. Heavily socialised as female in my birth family I had proclaimed long and loudly that I wasn't like everyone else and that I felt myself to be neither male nor female but a third gender. I didn't come out until I was 26yrs old [25yrs ago this month] and a major personal puzzle piece was put in place and felt 'right'. From thereon I found myself on the androgene spectrum. Butch never felt right for me. I'm more Beau Brummel than Mike the Mechanic [yes I know butch comes in all flavours in reality]; Infact, I'm a wee 'glitter poof' I came across genderqueer as id/label on what was the main UK BF website at the time. Age 39 and half I discovered my gender label, the one that I could happily accept and inhabit. It too put another large piece of my personal puzzle into place. I love my self chosen labels and have never eschewed their use. I am empowered by my labels which have helped me explain and claim who I am for myself chiefly and by happenstance have helped indicate to others who/what I identify as. A few of those labels are community specific and don't make much sense to those not part of those communities though. In my experience explaining genderqueer to mainstream lesbians (and every other group bar kinsters) is nigh on impossible. I know this because I've tried on many, many occasions with many, many non-BF 'gay' folks. But then try explaining Daddy to non-kink folks too. Currently my life is mainly populated by hetero folk. It has created much consternation for me in their lack of acceptance of difference, of anything they've not come across before, of their refusal to think of gender as anything other than binary but I am powerless over people, places and things and therefore cannot make others see me as I see myself. I can only lead by non-judgemental, accepting example. In summary, I have found over the years, a distinct lack of understanding around genderqueer, except in our very small b/f/t microcosm.