Originally Posted by DapperButch
Hi, folks. I wasn't sure where else to put this, and I didn't think my transition warranted a new thread.
I wanted to share with my trans brothers that I am now socially transitioning and for all intents and purposes I will be "male" in our society.
I will share a bit of my journey with you all, in case some of you are interested.
I have identified as a transgender butch for quite a number of years (prior to this I identified as a female butch. I have never identified as a woman). Since I never felt "male" and didn't want some of the secondary sexual characteristics that came with testosterone, plus, the distress and difficulty it was cause in my professional life) I never transitioned. I have, however, struggled with social dysphoria for many years (discomfort with the public interacting with me as if I was female).
Over time, the secondary sexual characteristics have become something I have wanted and the social dysphoria has become so crippling, I decided to start taking testosterone and socially transition.
A huge turning point for me was realizing that I did not have to identify as "male" in order to take testosterone in order to get rid of both the physical and the social dysphoria. That is the key for me. I love this quote that I saw on another site. I don't even know the author, I just saw it in a post (I have it in my profile):
"I've come to the conclusion that transitioning isn't about "gender transition" anyway, it's about transitioning from someone with dysphoria to someone without dysphoria - and that may or may not involve crossing any perceived "gender boundaries".
My personal identity remains a TG Butch and a trans guy. How we are viewed in society is not always who we are. Non-binary FTM may also be a fit.
I am coming out at work early next week and will have my name change in the paper by the end of the week. My state requires that I announce my name change in the newspaper for 3 weeks in a row before I can go to court to legally change it. The process will take about 5-6 weeks. The legal name change itself isn't important to me, the issue is that being a healthcare professional, I sign my legal name many times a day in patient charts, so it will be hard for people to get used to my preferred name when they are reading my birth name over and over again.
I will go ahead and answer the OP's questions:
1)Where are you in your transition?
The definition of "transition" is different for everybody, so I can't answer this question.
2) How long have you been on T?
I started on low dose 9/9/14. I did low dose because I wanted to make sure that this was the right decision for me. Honestly, the indecision was getting to me so badly (I have been going back and forth for years), that I couldn't take "not knowing" anymore if T was right for my me. I needed to know if I was truly missing that chemical in my brain for my emotional health (not just physical changes).
I then decided it was right for me, so I increased my dose. Problem was my job shifted at work and I went into another department. I hadn't come out yet and thought I should go "in" as who I had been at my company for 9 years (female, albeit a very masculine one). I had to drop my dose as my voice was dropping. I lowered the dose dramatically for 4 weeks, so that my voice went back up. Needless to say, over the last 6 months my emotions have been all over the place. I have now come out to HR, and things are in motion. So, today was my third shot at my regular dose (maybe, I am still in the process of determining the right dose based on T levels).
3) How much T do you take on a bi weekly or monthly basis?
As of 3 weeks ago, I am taking .30ml (75mg), weekly, subcutaneous injections.
4) How does your body react to your shot intake?
Honestly, it is a crap shoot the first day as my body adjusts to this hormone. I can become agitated or emotional. It is something I try to pay attention to, but it is even hard for me to realize I am being that way.
5)Are you pre or post op top and or bottom?
Top Surgery - 10/10/13
Bottom Surgery - yet to be determined, if at all. I might get a metiodioplasty, I am not sure about urethra hook up, or not (there are so many complications, that one should expect to happen, sometimes requiring revision). I would go to Dr. Crane, who is going to have a new office in Austin, TX as of 10/2015. You have to be on testosterone for 2 years prior to meta. I am hoping that by then my employer will cover the surgery. Otherwise, it may never be an option for me. A meta with Crane run 20K-30K, based on what you get done. I don't have an interest in phalloplasty.
6) Where and Who did your surgeries?
Dr. Charles Garramone, Fort Lauderdale, FL.
I am hesitant to post this as it feels so exposing to me, but if my hearing my journey will help someone who is questioning if they should take testosterone and socially transition will make a difference, then it is worth it (and I truly mean that. I love and feel a huge bond to my butch sisters and brothers). I would have loved to have read how any masculine identified person decided to take testosterone and socially transition to male (regardless of their identity) when I was contemplating it.
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