[Ascot]

Like you, Kätzchen, the older I get, the more I find myself affected by things. Until quite recently, I was really bothered by it. I think in some ways I saw it is a failing or weakness. One day I found myself saying to a friend that I think I feel things so much more now because I'm actually allowing myself to. What with a lot of life under my belt, apparently the universe has decided that I'm more capable of surviving a submersion into pathos. Until that moment when I was actually expressing that idea, I didn't know I felt that way. Since then, about a month, I've been mulling it over and I think it has validity. At least for me it does. I'm still upright, so if nothing else that is concrete proof that I can exist in and survive great anguish. I'm not certain, but it is possible that my personal definition of being okay has also changed. Maybe I'm finally not only learning to, but finding a willingness to bend in the storm instead of vehemently trying to hold strong and breaking because of it.