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Old 05-18-2015, 08:22 PM   #162
Smiling
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Default lol, and Smiling weighs in from the crazy corner....

I thought LilyCat posed a thoughtful question and Hominid brought up an excellent counterpoint. I had written a post based on their thoughts, but it ended up a rambling treatise and therefore felt a little self-involved, lol, so I deleted it.

So, I will just say this as regards my own choice to stay alone admittedly perhaps "too long"-

I'm not seeking a relationship, but if I happened to crash into one, I know what I definitely do not want. And what I will not accept is probably much easier to quantify.

I don't ever want to find myself in a relationship with someone who is a "placeholder" - neither do I want to be one for anyone else - and I feel like so many people (please be assured that I am not referring to anyone in particular either on or off this site, but rather speaking in a very general sense) are content with that.

I also feel like after a certain amount of time, people's lives get so intertwined that staying together becomes more of an exercise in convenience or habit (I.e. shared home, finances, children) than a conscious choice to share a life path.

What I definitely do not want is a relationship that is, or even worse, simply becomes, a functional business arrangement.

If that works for others, then great for them; but I'll continue to happily stay alone pursuing my dreams, goals, and interests in that case and remember that one person's "too long" is another's "not nearly long enough!" lol.

Context matters.

When I'm happy sometimes it's almost a why-fix-something-that-isn't-broken sort of thing. And when I'm not happy, it's more of an I'm-not-happy-at-the-moment-so-let-me-fix-myself-and-not-drag-anyone-down-in-the-gutter-with-me-right-now.
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