[Gemme]

Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake

I want to grow in love, not fall in it like dog shite.
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This made me crack the Hell up.

It's so true. Funny, but true!

Originally Posted by JDeere

My opinion, life is not easy so a relationship should not be a stroll in the park, easy. You have to work at it, but again that is just my feelings.

It's true that there must be equal effort from each party to maintain the relationship and to keep it happy and healthy, but I agree with cupcake about the beginning.

Every single time I have 'worked' to make myself 'fit' with someone else, it's only hurt me in the end. There's something to be said for sexy friction and conflict and all that mess but at this point in my life, if someone comes along and we mesh nicely and it feels good, then great.

Like you said; life is hard.

Your intimate relationships shouldn't be.

Originally Posted by randrum

I've been following this thread as sort of an observer. Because my answer to what things I want and/or need in a relationship is I don't know.

And that's about the best answer I can give. Because I honestly don't know. I could guess or say what I think I'd maybe like or want. But that's about it.

Truth is I've spent a lot more time alone than I've ever been in a relationship. And most of the time my want/need is just to be IN a relationship. I'd like to feel like I'm "in the game" for a little while, not just sitting on the bench (please forgive the sports analogy).

But I do find it interesting, everyone's opinions takes on what they are looking for or how they feel on just entering a relationship or being alone verse in a relationship.

Flip it. Do you know what you DON'T want? Sometimes that is just as good, if not better, than being able to articulate what you do want or need. It makes red flags brighter and flappier.