Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemme
This made me crack the Hell up.
It's so true. Funny, but true!
It's true that there must be equal effort from each party to maintain the relationship and to keep it happy and healthy, but I agree with cupcake about the beginning.
Every single time I have 'worked' to make myself 'fit' with someone else, it's only hurt me in the end. There's something to be said for sexy friction and conflict and all that mess but at this point in my life, if someone comes along and we mesh nicely and it feels good, then great.
Like you said; life is hard.
Your intimate relationships shouldn't be.
Flip it. Do you know what you DON'T want? Sometimes that is just as good, if not better, than being able to articulate what you do want or need. It makes red flags brighter and flappier.
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Yes, thank you, that's what I mean. Of course there will be difficulties down the road after a lot of time spent together and differences happen and there is crisis you have to deal with from the outside world.
But that should *not* be the majority of the time in the relationship. Most of the time the relationship should be enjoyable and make my life *easier*.
I know the difference between intimacy and intensity. I want the former, not the later. It took me almost 30 years to figure out that intensity is *not* intimacy.
Better late than never!