[nycfem]

Total sleep for Friday night (2/3/17) to Saturday morning (2/4/17): 13+ hours

Last night, Friday night, I ate too late, and Indian food to boot! I got in bed at 11:05 PM and fell asleep by 11:30 PM. I took an anxiety pill (Klonopin), wore ear plugs, and listened to a book on CD ("Falling Apart in One Piece") on noise cancelling headphones. BB, my husbutch, was out with a friend that night, so I was asleep before she got home.

I woke up at 6 AM in a state of very strong anxiety, specifically about a single colleague who I have to depend on for catering my events and who tortures me by purposely doing everything wrong and making herself inaccessible and being so mean. Normally I wake up at 5:45 AM to go to work so the fact that that is the time the anxiety kicked in about work issues would make sense.

Everything about this woman and our most recent interaction on Friday started to loop in my head. I tried to distract myself by going on to the computer from 6 AM to 7 AM but it didn't really reduce my anxiety. I also did a scratch-off just in case this worry was for nothing because I might find out I won millions of dollars. Alas instead of winning I paid what they call "the poor man's tax" (the cost of a scratch-off ticket with no win).

I wrote a short email to myself with a few simple sentences of what I would do next in trying to get to the next step I needed with my difficult, mean colleague at work. I think that was helpful because it interrupted the "worry loop" a bit. It gave me a plan for what I would do on Monday, a first step.

Then I took another anxiety pill (Klonopin) and an Ambien (sleep pill) and went back to bed from 7 am to 2 pm. That felt really good. And when I woke up I was not anxious, though BB gets a little annoyed that I sleep so long on weekends.

The thing is that I get like a literal "nap" instead of a night of sleep during the work week which I am trying to change so I do all my catching up on sleep during the weekends. Last night was a particularly rough night. Usually medication is not involved to the extent it was last night.

Despite all these issues, I'm really glad that I got in such a much needed catch-up on sleep. Until I get my weeknight sleep under control, I depend on the sleep I get on Friday and Saturday nights when I don't have to work the next day.

This is a weird first post but the point of the thread is to keep it real. Thanks for reading if you did and I'm always open to suggestions as you get to know me and my sleep issues. I value the support of the BFP community where I can be myself.