[Sachita]

I really don't want to be a Debbie Downer or discourage any type of love but I did have a few bad experiences want those of you embarking on this journey to also be realistic.

back in early 2000 I met someone and we had a LDR for almost 8 months. After 3 months I insisted she fly to see me or I could not continue the relationship. I offered to even pay for half of the ticket. I was taking care of rescued animals at the time and had no one to watch them while I traveled. She would make arrangements and then cancel last minute with some excuse I later discovered was all lies. She painted this picture that was so far from who she really was. Where she lives, worked, family, all big lies. There were a few red flags but I chalked it off as fear. Countless phone conversations and online chat. Its easy to fall in love with a dream.

She finally arrived and almost right away it things began to unfold. Once I had discovered the magnitude of deception I ended the relationship but we kept in contact, or at least she did claiming that she was afraid and there were countless excuses. But there really wasn't any reason to invent the grand stories she told. If you need to be private, say nothing, don't invent lies. I believe in being forthright and honest at the start of any relationship. I don't need to invent BS to make myself look good in someones eyes. If they can't accept the real me then I'm not going to invest my precious time. Its that simple.

I'm a smart ass woman. I can see things but i admit that sometimes I'm busy or I just don't pry. But you gotta wake up pretty early to pull the wool over my eyes, HOWEVER because of love, being lonely and often removed from my community (living rural) I fall into traps.

This has happened to me a few times. Thankfully the last time I spotted it right away and didn't allow it to continue. I am still open to a LDR if they make the time to meet face to face within a reasonable time, they are forthright and not hiding a lot of shit. I will not continue a lengthy online/phone thing beyond 3 months. After I will expect both of us to travel often and carefully get a glimpse into each others lives- our friends, families, etc. this is important to me. After a year I would expect us to begin to make some decisions on being in the same state. I would not leave my granddaughter, therefore if I were to move it would mean selling or moving my business and moving my family, otherwise they would need to be happy on the farm!

Its easy to project your inner most desires. We are passionate human beings and our community presents some challenges. But its important to keep a clear and level head when investing so much emotion.