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RockOn · 11-07-2016, 03:03 AM

I was told back in the late 80s by a counselor that I did not know how to grieve. Even after all these years, I still think she is right.

My mom passed in '84. I took care of her, spent all but one night in the hospital with her the last year when she would check in for a treatment. When she died, I did not know what to do with myself. I worked ( of course ) while she was sick ... so I worked harder after ahe passed. And not just at my job but I pressed my limits in hard outdoor physical work. I always do that outdoor extra hard work when I hurt. If I can wear myself out, I flop into bed and fall asleep immediately.

Charlie (father) passed in summer of 2011. I did not know about his death until a month or so afterwards. I did not care one way or the other. I know that sounds callous but he was always on a regular basis an extremely physically abusive person. Never sexually, only with beatings. Here was the best I could conjure up about him. I hoped he did not linger and suffer alone. To this day, I do not know his cause of death. I could get a copy of his death certificate if I wanted that information but I don't see any need to inquire.

When I lose a dog, that is the most prolonged sadness I have ever dealt with ... it never ever goes away. Each one leaves a pawprint on my heart. When I moved last summer, I found some of my beloved Kelly's belongings, some of her baby toys. When I saw them, I felt like I had been mowed down by a sixteen wheeler. I had to work physically so hard for awhile but I cannot shake that type of loss of kinship pain E-V-E-R! A dog's love is forever. Their actions and demonstrations of love are sincere. You can always depend on them.

Hugs to all who struggle with grief.

11-07-2016, 03:03 AM	#23
RockOn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: sitting over there ----->>>>> :) Preferred Pronoun?: .... Relationship Status: .... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .... Posts: 3,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,081 Thanked 10,308 Times in 2,609 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I was told back in the late 80s by a counselor that I did not know how to grieve. Even after all these years, I still think she is right. My mom passed in '84. I took care of her, spent all but one night in the hospital with her the last year when she would check in for a treatment. When she died, I did not know what to do with myself. I worked ( of course ) while she was sick ... so I worked harder after ahe passed. And not just at my job but I pressed my limits in hard outdoor physical work. I always do that outdoor extra hard work when I hurt. If I can wear myself out, I flop into bed and fall asleep immediately. Charlie (father) passed in summer of 2011. I did not know about his death until a month or so afterwards. I did not care one way or the other. I know that sounds callous but he was always on a regular basis an extremely physically abusive person. Never sexually, only with beatings. Here was the best I could conjure up about him. I hoped he did not linger and suffer alone. To this day, I do not know his cause of death. I could get a copy of his death certificate if I wanted that information but I don't see any need to inquire. When I lose a dog, that is the most prolonged sadness I have ever dealt with ... it never ever goes away. Each one leaves a pawprint on my heart. When I moved last summer, I found some of my beloved Kelly's belongings, some of her baby toys. When I saw them, I felt like I had been mowed down by a sixteen wheeler. I had to work physically so hard for awhile but I cannot shake that type of loss of kinship pain E-V-E-R! A dog's love is forever. Their actions and demonstrations of love are sincere. You can always depend on them. Hugs to all who struggle with grief.