I don't think soulmates exist. I find the alternative is much more romantic.
For me, I think the
concept of soulmates can be very seductive in that it kind of absolves us of responsibility for looking after our relationships, sticking it out in the tough times, trying to understand the aspects of our partner we might not otherwise want to understand, and it also allows us to more readily wash our hands of someone or something with the idea that "oh, if s/he were really the right one or if this were really the 'right' relationship, we wouldn't fight (or at least not this much) and it wouldn't be so hard. I guess we're not really 'meant to be.'" I think it also keeps us in relationships or with people with whom we otherwise might not (or should not) remain.
I think it's far more romantic to
not have the belief in a soulmate but to give it a go anyway despite all the odds. To recognize each other's flaws, wake up each and every morning and make the conscious choice to love and be with someone, to acknowledge the fact that those initial giddy, feverish feelings of infatuation will eventually (and quite naturally) fade a bit with time and to be patient and aware enough to see and feel the deep, abiding love which replaces them... to make the decision to create a life together and respect and love each other as best you are able while accepting each other, warts and all... that, to me, is romantic.
I think the sticking point for me with the concept of soulmates (aside from, you know, being an atheist and all) is the idea of choosing vs being chosen. I want to be with someone who chooses me for who I am and what I am to them (and vice versa), how we mesh and who we are as a couple, and to not feel as though they think I was chosen
for them according to some ethereal concept that neither of us can really adequately define. I need something concrete, tangible, and real. If you tell me you love me because the stars are aligned and you "just knew" upon meeting that I was "the one"... well, maybe that sounds nice in poetry and it works for some people but it doesn't really pass the smell test for me. If, however, you tell me you love me because you've seen me at my worst, now know my flaws, and you still want to be with me in spite of everything because you
still get that ache when I walk through the door, to me that's love.
