|
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Lesbian non-stone femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her
Relationship Status:
Committed to being good to myself
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: West Coast
Posts: 8,258
Thanks: 39,306
Thanked 40,791 Times in 7,290 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856
|
For Inspiration?
The Lake Union Seattle Beat First Annual Bad Haiku Contest
April, 2011
We were inundated with hundreds of entries for this contest and most of them were very bad! In fact, we’d like to congratulate Seattle on having so many truly terrible poets. In addition to the very, very bad we received many gross submissions, and, sadly, some good stuff we couldn’t use.
The following are the 10 runners-up climaxing with the worst Haiku we had the pleasure of reading.
Most men like melons
Especially ripe and juicy
Hands off those are mine
~~~~~~~~~~~
Jews atone for sins
Once a year, on Yom Kippur
Beats confessional
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Soft pink Elephant
You are my OCD dream
Touch touch touch touch touch
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Young man, young woman
He asks, she asks, his hands
Move apart, show size
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I do not like poems
I just want fifty dollars
Show me the money
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Big Mac mouthful
A loud belly rumbling
Oh crap no toilet paper
~~~~~~~~~~
Oh hipster fixie
Skidding thru stops helmetless
Pants tight, German bag
~~~~~~~~~~~
I like my women
The way I like my coffee
In large quantities
~~~~~~~~~
Haiku are three line
Poems that no one who speaks
English can write well
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Loud, shrieking voices
Shattering of glass vases
Time for a spanking
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Winner! Worst Haiku 2011
Slippery pasta
Broccoli, pepper, garlic
We ate, we had gas
__________________
~Anya~
Democracy Dies in Darkness
~Washington Post
"...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable."
UN Human Rights commissioner
|