Quote:
Originally Posted by gayla
I'm sure there are a number of cis heterosexual ID's people of both genders on both/all sites. I don't know everyone and I really don't know those who are not active or vocal. There are a lot of lurkers.
Personally, and pardon the graphic nature, but I don't think it gets much queerer then a straight guy with a transman's fist up his ass. Queer is as queer does? Which then makes me wonder if I have a scale of queer. I think I do because I often rate things as being "more" or "less" queer the way I just did. That's a tangent that is way off topic, sorry.
Just to clarify, as no offense was intended in my previous post and I was speaking about my own thoughts/feelings/judgements in an honest way from the gayla space. I have never, and will never, say that anyone "shouldn't" be here on this site, or any site, for any reason. That was kind of the point of my post. Your individual ID and reasons for wanting to be included in this community are really none of my business and I will never use them as some type of scale for determining who belongs and who doesn't. With the exception of the obvious trollers/spammers, I think everyone has right to be here if they want to be.
That being said, it would feel "icky" to me mostly because I wouldn't really understand why someone who ID's as a non-queer, heterosexual male and is not interested in becoming involved with anyone other then non-queer ID'ing heterosexual women, would come to this site in search of a partner. That "icky"-ness would be based on my own history of interactions with straight guys who think lesbians are just for their entertainment or for "conquering". I do not have any issue with non-queer, heterosexual male ID'ing individuals being involved on the site, or in b-f/gay community in general if it's a place they feel comfortable and included and feel like they belong.
I also have absolutely no issues at all (cannot state this emphatically enough without it sounding like one of those "my best friends are..." kind things) with transmen, FTM's, GQ, etc. individuals being on the site or in b-f space ever and I don't think I implied that in any way in my previous post. If that was how it came across or I somehow implied that without realizing it, please accept my apology and know that I will try much harder in the future not to say anything that may be read that way.
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I wasn't saying I read you as offensive at all. I apologize if I somehow implied that. I really didn't think that.
It's just interesting to me that a cis, straight male is seen as 'more suspect' (?) than a cis, straight female. That's all I was saying.
So, that part is just interesting to me. And you're definitely not the only person to express that.
Fairly recently, Firie and I were having a conversation about a het-queer acquaintance of ours. He's part of the queer community because he's poly. He's extremely privileged in so many arenas (class, white, read as straight, male, able-bodied), and he says the stupidest shit. Firie asked me if I thought he should be 'allowed' on the site. I think he should be 'allowed' on the site. But I also know he'd be gone after his first or second post, because he'd say something incredibly stupid.
But then, I have other friends who don't ID as queer, but who are more *culturally* queer than some queer people I know.
But I would question ANYONE who ID'd as straight and had no tie to the queer community coming around voicing their opinions about shit.
I mean, it's a queer website, and if you're not *affiliated*, I could really give a rip about your opinions...yanno what I'm sayin?
Dylan