Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemme
People are going to think what they are going to think, regardless if they preface that thought with 'this is what I think' or 'this is my truth' or whatever.
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Yes, this makes sense to me.
I can really only understand clearly my use of the words “my truth.” I don’t know how other people use it. I am almost positive that if I were to use the phrase “It’s my truth” I would be clutching my pearls. Metaphorically speaking, of course, since I don’t actually have any pearls. But I do tend to use words, especially in writing about something that I feel passionately toward, for dramatic or emotional effect. However, I don’t believe it is a favorite word combo for me. I’m sure it isn’t something I would ever say without thinking. My use of it would be purposeful. And it would be about MY personal truth.
If I were to use the phrase ‘my truth’ it would be to explain who I am and how I move through the world. For example I’m a butch, a woman, a feminist, I’m left leaning, I’m monogamous, I try to always take responsibility for my actions and on an internal level I believe in fearlessly and openly examining the motivations behind my actions so that at the very least I can remain honest with myself and at best I can change direction if I find my motives suspect. This is a part of my truth. That is, if I were interested in defining it as a truth of any kind.
The problem would be if I were to attach some moral relevance to my truth or develop a hierarchy of behavior with my truths positioned firmly at the top. If I am unable to distinguish my truth from THE ONE truth for all right thinking people then I believe it is very problematic. However, if this is my process, if I tend to confuse "MY truth" with "THE truth", I doubt semantics is the problem, nor would changing the phraseology have any effect on the actual issue. Because the problem isn’t my language selection it is how I actually think. And whether I call it "my truth" or "my one eyed, one horned flying purple people eater" the results of this type of thought process will be the same.
Another problem with “my truth” is it legitimizes the possibility that there is more than one. So people feel comfortable using “it’s my truth” as a way of not accepting a universal truth. But again the usage of the phrase is not the problem. The idiosyncratic ideology is.
Whether I believe the phrase “my truth” will attract as users people who cannot tell a personal truth from a universal moral mandate or as an excuse to ignore reality is irrelevant in my opinion. Because really if they don’t say it’s my truth, they will say it’s just my opinion or it’s my beliefs or whatever. I suppose the operative word is MY and how it is really standing in for THE ONE.
I certainly can’t control if and when and to what end people use words. And apparently, as with many words in language, there are ways in which the meaning of my truth is not concrete or universal. Still though for me more problematic is that there are things that people view as truths that have nothing in common with the definition of truth as I understand it. And if someone is thumping their chest or shaking their fist while going on about their truth then I can be pretty sure they won’t be changing their mind any time soon.
I think a better use of my time might be how do I break down or break apart the bundle of core beliefs that allow a person to believe that something is any kind of truth when there are volumes of evidence that proves otherwise. Or beliefs that are central to a person’s make up that cause them to decide moral rightness for others. For example they believe in monogamy so then monogamy is the only right and true course for everyone.
I remember clearly when I first realized that being unarguably right won’t stop others from arguing with you and all the evidence in the world won’t convince them of the truth. The reality is sometimes simply pointing out evidence to support your belief will be futile regardless of what is true. I can’t tell you who I was with or what the argument was about, although I do remember it was a central relationship. What I remember most is the feeling I had when it finally dawned on me that it doesn’t matter one whit that I am positive I’m right, that I have a plethora of proof to back me up, and that I am able to articulate my position perfectly. It doesn’t matter that there is no logical way anyone would not be swayed by the evidence. I was truly gobsmacked. I felt a sense of regret and defeat as I tried to imagine how anyone can ever understand anything in a world where the truth could not only be subjective but could actually be a lie. But I also felt something click into place in my brain. This was an important piece of information that I had been missing for years. Imagine my surprise. No matter how right I think I am or even how right I actually am and no matter how easily I believe I can prove the truth with my facts, if the other person has an attachment to the lie, whether consciously or unconsciously, whether it is part of a core belief or an emotional investment, the other person can and often will completely disregard my compelling argument as so much bullshit. Bullshit that they feel I insist on spraying all over their feelings.
That was my first experience with the realization that truth for many is not actually a reality or fact based thing, it is more a subjective, feeling type experience that isn’t locked into what is concrete but more about what they wish it to be. And they have no qualms about calling that truth. I don’t know what anyone can do to change that. I’m aware there are techniques for changing people’s minds. I know there’s ways purported to break through core beliefs. I know that often creating dissonance will result in a person reevaluating their ideas and this could make it possible for them to change what they believe. In my experience though the more attached someone is to their belief the more likely presenting conclusive and undeniable evidence and proof to the contrary will only succeed in polarizing their beliefs and make it very difficult for them to hear you. Trying to create dissonance so a person will rethink a core belief can be unrewarding, fruitless and in some cases even hazardous to your health. Yet it is necessary to try I think. Challenging lies and misrepresentations of reality are a part of "my truth".