[Isadora]

I have a hard time forgiving myself more than anyone else. Forgiving myself for making mistakes or hurting people or acting out in anger.

I, also, believe some things are unforgivable...and no amount of my Jewish/Catholic guilt will make them go away. When someone deliberately lies, uses me, my body or my friends to cause me hurt and pain, I have a difficult time forgiving. Not that it isn't possible, it is just hard.

Sometimes I think the Judeo/Christian understanding of forgiveness is more hurtful than helpful. Turning the other cheek is not always healing. Those who preach peace/understanding may use it as a weapon of guilt and shame to force change. No change that is not self motivated works for very long.

I think this is what Julie was talking about in manipulative action. I get very tired sometimes when well meaning friends say, "Oh just get over it." when they have no understanding of the pain involved or the amount of deception and the reasons behind why someone one is not forgiven.

Being a survivor of childhood abuse I have some deeply unforgivable actions perpetrated against me. The hurt does not go away. It is written in permanent ink on my heart. Some things are not forgivable.

This is one of my most vulnerable areas. How do I let go and move on when I am incapable (at this moment) of forgiving? Does having to forgive someone mean I have not healed? Am I a horrid person because I have not forgotten how humiliated and abused I felt? I struggle with this as one of my biggest personal growth issues.