[Toughy]

my friend.....

Operate from your heart and your love.

You can certainly have clear boundaries about how Jess behaves with you. You can also sit down and ask Jess to treat the grandmother with more respect. Maybe grandmother needs to sit with you when you have this conversation about behavior. I know it's tough for grandmother, however having a confrontation will only make matters worse. You have a much better chance establishing boundaries with a conversation. I would frame the conversation in terms of boundaries. No shaming, no guilting, no telling her she is a fuck up and an addict. Conversation about boundaries. You can also make a boundary for her living situation with grandmother. When she turns 18 she is an adult. If she cannot be respectful of grandmother, then she cannot live there. Do not have this conversation if she is loaded. It will not do any good at all.

I'm not a fan of interventions and forced treatment. A Native American elder once told me: If you think someone needs an intervention, that someone is probably you.