[princessbelle]

Originally Posted by FemmeWriter

This is a rough subject for me. I've always known myself to be monogomous, with no judgment held toward poly-anything. My sister is poly and it's nothing new or shocking to me. What consenting adults do is their business. Part of me even envied her the freedom.

But now I'm in a marriage where, thanks to fighting and emotional roller-coaster riding, our passion is pretty much nil. This is a problem that doesn't seem to be getting better and so we've opened the relationship, both to allow her an avenue to express her past needs to cheat (in prior relationships) and my need to not retire sexually at 37.

We love each other. We've promised super discretion--a tactic that has worked for friends for over a decade--and yet I'm mourning as if I've lost my relationship. My brain tells me that being poly is fine. But I can't get over that this isn't where I wanted to be at this point in my life.

I suppose I'll change my mind once I meet someone I'd be willing to be intimate with, but like I said, I have to mourn first, and THEN get on with my life.

So I appreciate all the advice here. It's given me a lot to think about.

Girl. I wasn't going to respond to this but you did say you welcomed advice. Speaking from someone who had an experience in "going poly" because my relationship was in trouble. It didn't work. More than that, it was horrible. It was hell on earth and just lingered for our relationship to end when it should have ended way before that point.

I am an optimist and it is hard to even type that in response to you. But, wow i see some similarities in what you are saying here. Honestly, i'm worried about you. I wouldn't want anyone to feel the pain i went through with a poly relationship for a fix.

I do believe in poly relationships however, but i certainly don't think they are for everyone for any time in any relationship.

Just wanted to reach out to you, and ask you to really think about it. Love is great but it's not everything. If you are in an unhealthy relationship right now, going this route may only cause you way more pain. I repeat. Way more.

My opinion, of course.

Best of luck.