[sylvie]

Had a bit of a challenging night last night..
Worked on taking my abstinence list (which was 2 pages long) down to half a page of only the items i would binge...
And am trying to make good decisions about the foods i eat, rather than remaining abstinent from them...

While being free of a 2 page abstinence list is a wonderful thing.. the obsessing over foods i put in my mouth and then beat myself up over is making me crazy.. i get very hard on myself but i know it's necessary to do for this Intuitive Eating program i am doing.. Why is it so hard to let go of things? Because it felt like a safety net for me to have all of those foods on that list , and having myself convinced it was an absolute no-no..

So now, i need to learn to let go.. Easier said than done..

In other news, i now have a blog where i post occasionally, about this journey i am on, if anyone wants to see..
http://a-sylly-journey.blogspot.com/ ... Not just about the eating disorder, but also building my self esteem, my weight loss journey, that sort of stuff..

Lastly, i finally received my 12x12 workbook, and have started working the steps.. Am on step one, intense stuff... And i've only just begun..i am working on this workbook along with my Sponsor..
No wonder my emotions are all over the place these days!
This morning i woke up, and decided i needed some 'me' time just to get myself in a better mindset about all of this.. So after my workout, i ran myself a nice hot, relaxing bubble bath, and pampered myself for almost an hour.. i meditated, i read some, and now i'm ready to go to work and take on the day , and take all of this stuff on as well..

Think i just needed to get right with myself, and a good night's sleep, a warm drink & some meditation helped last night too..

i feel recharged.. needed that!