[Kätzchen]

The nurse was in her room checking off items on her list for release when she asked the nurse to give all the flowers away to children up on the cancer ward in the hospital.

“Will you take all these and give them to the sweet children upstairs, except the Bird of Paradise and stargazer Lillies?” she asked sweetly. Nodding, the nurse called for an aide to come take the flowers and helped her get dressed to leave.

“Now,” the nurse inquired, “Shall I call your contact so they can come for you or will you be calling for a taxi to take you home today?”

“Will you please call CC and see if it fits Hiz schedule to come get me; otherwise if CC is busy, I will call a taxi,” she replied to the nurse.

“Okay, I'll be back in a little bit and let you know what comes next,” replied the nurse.

While she was gathering up her items, she looked out the hospital window and noticed the wonderful weather outside, noticing the gentle breeze blowing through the trees. It seemed like she took forever to get back up and going again, with all the injuries she suffered. The broken ribs had healed some, yet she was achy and sore. Mainly, all she could think of was getting back home and checking on her plants and picking up all the newspapers and pay some bills, since her ordinary daily life activities fell behind schedule.

But while waiting for the nurse to return with news as to whether CC was going to pick her up or not, Dayle walked into the room while she was wandering in thought as she was looking out the window.

“Knock, knock, Miz Lady of the Morning!” chimed Dayle with a smiling lilt to Hys voice. “How have you been lately? CC sent me over to pick you up this morning.”

Turning from the window she smiled knowingly at Dayle and replied, “CC sent you, did Hy? How wonderful that Hy thought of that. If the nurse comes back soon, I am free to go” she remarked in wonderment as to why CC wasn't there Hymself. She wondered what was going on with CC lately. But it didn't matter at the moment because she was relieved that at least she had a way home with someone she knew, rather than having to call a taxi. Just then the nurse came in and said it was strange how she just got off the phone with CC and Dayle was already there to pick her up!
“My, my,” said the nurse. “It doesn't take long to get the ball rolling around here, does it? You are free to go and if you have any symptoms of pain or dizziness, just call your regular physician because we have forwarded all your hospital notes to him. But we are pretty sure you will be fine from here on out. You should schedule a checkup in a month to make sure everything has healed up properly, okay? Just sign these papers and off you go,” said the nurse with a smile.

So, she signed the papers and looked at Dayle as if to signal that she was ready to go. “I'm glad you are here to take me home Dayle,” she said, her voice curiously laced with tone.

“I am parked out front, so let's take the elevator and be on our way,” Dayle said with marked reservation and off they went.

~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~

The drive home was slow and full of explorative conversation with Dayle. She didn't know whether to be alarmed or annoyed with Dayle, but something was grating her nerves concerning their dialogue and she couldn't put a finger on it. She didn't feel like giving too much information as she really didn't know Dayle; nor could she figure out, for the life of her, why CC had asked Dayle to take her home. Something was entirely odd about the whole thing. For one, before she had the accident and before the notion of her pictures missing on the clip of the digital camera and missing the return phone call from the detective, she found it a little strange that Dayle had found hyr way to CC'z property that day when she rode Sweet Pea to find CC on the Green Springs property. Although it appeared that Dayle and CC were enjoying each others new found company while fishing at the creek, she wondered why CC had done as Hy did and what the real content of the current conversation was before she discovered them by the creek. For some reason she felt that something was amiss about Dayle. Successfully dodging Dayle’s innocuous questions that seemed simple, she knew all too well the hinting of what was behind the questions. She wasn't going to reveal what she knew or what she supposed had happened that day at the park – the bits and pieces of a puzzle that were left behind at the scene. To her, there was a dark motive behind the veiled inquisition and she wasn't about to give anything up. When CC got the time to come by from wherever Hy was at or doing, she was going to have a nice chat with CC about this perplexing situation that was making her very uncomfortable.

“Okay” Dayle said, as Hy pulled into her driveway with long overgrown lawn grass and countless papers piled on the front patio and a note attached to her front door.

With the truck in park and the motor still running Dayle got out and opened her door. Then Dayle retrieved her flowers from the back seat and handed them to her.

“Will you need me to stay” asked Dayle loftily?

“No, you can go and thank you for bringing me home today” she mused quietly to Dayle. And with that, Dayle got back in Hys truck and left.

Watching Dayle leave and then turning to the front patio with all the papers and the note, she wandered lazily as she shuffled all the papers together in her arms and read the note. It was from CC: “I know I was supposed to be there today but you will see me tonight and you will just have to trust me when I tell you that I think I have some answers for you about the park. I also want to talk to you about other things too... Until then, I am yours faithfully, CC” – as was scribbled in Hiz famous haiku, prose-like, penmanship.

Unlocking the front door, and putting all the papers in the wooden antique bin by the sofa for reading materials, she laid the house keys down, turned to shut the front door and locked it. Mulling for a moment in the front living room and adjusting the drapes to let the soft afternoon light in for the day, she turned to go out to the kitchen to open the patio doors to let in some fresh air and take in the view of the property. After scanning the premises for any new developments, she wandered out to sit on her favorite chaise lounge chair and on the table beside the chair, there it was: a small and tiny envelope with her name on it and something bulging from within; a piece of paper with a smudgy mark on the back. Carefully, she walked back into the kitchen and took out a pair of silicone gloves she had when she didn't want to touch unwashed meats for cooking. Carefully she put them on and wandered back out to the note on the table. Picking up the tiny envelope, she opened it to reveal a part of the necklace that matched the earring found at the park. The message on the note read: “It's a part of me and I need your help to find me.”

She breathed in and exhaled a long orchestrated breath that indicated only one thing that came to her mind: Trouble.

~~~~~~~~~~~


Dearest Diary,

It’s been a long three months and I still feel numb since my brothers’ death. My mother isn't the easiest to deal with and I cannot help but feel cheated that the one and only loving family member I had is gone *** (See Footnote below). Yes, I feel deeply angry and longingly sad for my brother Mike. But it doesn't ease the pain I feel, the untimely moment in life that whisked away my brother to another world that heaven only knows about.

I am so deeply humbled by events in my life: only three more terms to go before I graduate with my Bachelors of Science; then there is grad school and heaven only knows where that will be. My dear friends here at home who have held my hand during the loss of my brother Mike; my wonderful friend who is so dear to me and changes that are looming ahead for me and my youngest son Eddie. I worry at times for Lee my eldest son who is serving in the war and cannot be found and summer plans that threaten to overwhelm me – the ever evolving change that I am adapting too on the spur of the moment.

If it's one thing I have learned over time is that the best laid plans don't always come out like they were planned. Help me, dearest diary, to remember not to plan. There is only so much a person can control, so help me in my hours this day to just be in the moment and not fast forward to anything, please.

And just so you know, I have not forgotten to ask my favorite pressing questions of the hour:

Why? Where? When? How?

* I know! So many questions and yet too few answers*

Only you, dearest diary, know the answer to this but heaven help me to be free - to just float it back to the universe for the answers I need.

As always,
your patient adorer and loving writer



*** (footnote): I learned, later in the fall of 2006, that my mother suffered another break from reality (similar to the one when she and my father’s marriage imploded) when my brother Mike was diagnosed with, what was then thought of as a rare form of, AIDS. My mother’s highly skilled nose for nursing issues, around Mikes’ diagnosis, tipped the scale in finding out about the closeted life my brother led. My youngest brother now lives with my elderly mother to this day because even though she functions expertly in her role as a nurse, other unsolved mysteries in our family (taboo subjects) threaten her mental health and personal well being. Mike and I co-share responsibility in caring for our mother as she ages rapidly due to cancer metastasizing in her body (December 2011, revision of diary entry).