[Martina]

Well, I don't have anything that interesting to say. I have both romantic and sexual feelings toward women. Every once in a while I'll see why people respond to a particular guy, but I can't imagine a physical connection.

That said, most of my best friends have been men, some gay, mostly straight. I find men relaxing to be around, maybe because there isn't that sexual charge. I am almost never attracted to friends once they become friends, so that's not the whole story. Truth is I like men.

I like their company. All these years only two of my male friends have offended my feminist sensibilities. They were both gay men. Sometimes gay men think, or used to think, they got a free pass on sexism. Uh no. I also think some gay men amongst themselves can be crass about women. My straight male friends would never have conversations with other men in which women were spoken disrespectfully of. I believe that. And most of my gay male friends too. But two of them crossed that line with me, supposedly as a joke. It wasn't pretty. We stayed friends, but clearly I still remember.

I am wandering. I tend to have better friendships with men although right now the two people I am most in contact with are queer women. I don't know why. I find men's company more relaxing. But that is not romance. So, no, I don't have romantic feelings toward a gender I am not sexually attracted to.