[femm_cb]

I was married to a bio-male and had two beautiful children. We divorced when my youngest (age 17 now) was a year old. He met and married a woman who is an incredible advocate for my children.

In the beginning of their relationship, there was jealousy on my part towards her. My kids loved spending time with her, she made sure his child support payments were on time, she arranged travel to spend time with them. She was amazing. After their summer visits, my kids spent weeks talking about "how great Ms. R is" I was pee-green with jealousy. But after a while, I took a step back and realized "Why am I getting so jealous over someone loving my kids? Isn't that what I want for them? Why am I so jealous over someone being good to my kids?" All those questions. She and I had a heart to heart on the phone one time and I discussed my insecurities. It wasn't her job to fix them. Fastforward 15 years. R and I have the best relationship. When I call my ex to discuss kid matter things, I call her directly. I often call her "My babies other momma" I make sure my kids call her on Mothers Day. She is, after all, a mom too! I could not have asked for a better parent for my children.

Now as I said above regarding calling her on kid matters, I do not exclude their father at all. When it's issues that he needs to be aware of first hand, I speak with him first. I don't ever put her in the role of making major decisions, but do value her opinion.