[lettertodaddy]

When I use the word assimilationist, it carries no baggage for me. Martin Luther King was an assimilationist. W.E.B. DuBois was an assimilationist. Anna Julia Cooper was an assimilationist. Assimilation just means being collected into the body of the whole.

If you saw something negative in my use of the word, I apologize for causing offense. None was intended.

I also want to reiterate that nowhere did I say that people who want to get married shouldn't be able to. If that's what you want, go for it. Fight for it. Don't give up, and do it anyway until society and legislation catches up with you. But to me, that is not our only fight. That is what concerns me, because so much of our rhetoric is only focused on that one issue.

It's as if the beautiful plurality of voices that I was used to hearing has been silenced by a few who want to be able to claim their place at the centre. I just want those of us who can see that the centre isn't healthy to be heard as well.

As for me, I've never wanted to be mainstream. Rather than thinking of my experiences as marginal (which is negative), I prefer to think of them as exceptional. I want to be the exception to the rule.

As far as the use of "as good as you", there's a blog and active online community for marriage equality and LGBT rights called Good As You. That's what was in my mind when I use that phrase, and it rankles me. Again, wanting to be equal and "as good as" straight folks are fine if that is your goal. I want to be better than the norm. I want us all to strive to make our society better, not to just accept the status quo.