I have been thinking about wisdom and compassion and what they in a Buddhist sense -- not the Hallmark Christian tradition I grew up in.
From Shantideva and others, I have concluded that wisdom is seeing others as separate from us -- not things to make us feel better or worse -- but completely unique beings, who, however, share the same living essence that we do. We are separate and one at the same time. We recognize them as THEM, so them that they could never be anybody but them, every mole and wrinkle amazing because it makes them THEM.
We also vividly see ourselves in them, see our oneness with them. It's a kind of awe in the other's uniqueness with a simultaneous acknowledgement of connection, an experience that ordinarily we only -- very occasionally -- have with our beloveds. And intimate relationships are fraught with fear of loss -- are by, definition, attachment. To be in that state of recognition of other and same -- with others who aren't our beloveds -- that's living in wisdom and compassion.
Compassion means realizing how dear that other life is and, as a result, cultivating a life of our own which does less harm. Loving action results. Loving action, which helps others, is just action not derived from selfishness, action which does not harm. It's not a deliberate effort to do good, to forge a bond or elevate reality in some way, but any action, however banal, that is not motivated by clinging or aversion. One does not manifest loving action or lovingkindness as a thing in itself. We try to be mindful and act without doing harm. Lovingkindness is everything we do when we are present and not harming others. It's not dramatic, not a Hallmark moment.
I find that my practice is progressing even while my life is not what I would like in some ways. I guess it's good enough not to be stuck spiritually, and for that I am grateful. Anyway, practice leads me more and more toward this understanding of compassion, which has little in common with the Christian understanding that I was raised with -- mercy, shared grief, miracle-making, and forgiveness-generating. At its worst, that kind of compassion is a manipulative emotional state that almost reaches out and deposits itself on the other.
Buddhism does see compassion as the force through which we can help others toward liberation. But it's not the notion I was taught, that oozing tube of God ointment.
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