[MissItalianDiva]

Hmm well I have been avoiding admitting this publicly and even "try" or think I am hiding this from my friends and family but I know it is no secret. I see everyone watching my food intake and hear the probing questions which doesn't help my addiction or controlling behaviors with regards to food but that is my issue and not theirs to deal with.

I have come to a point where I am ready to be done with the control food and calorie counting have over my life. I have a long history of what some might call anorexia while I still carry much denial and simply call it not being hungry or too busy to eat which is BS and I know it.

I obsess over carb and calorie counting as well as controlling the amount of fat grams I consume. I restrict all types of food especially meat and rarely eat in front of people....It is a ritual when I do eat. Everything is weighed out. Not sure how or why I got to this point but it is extremely unhealthy and I need to make this change. I have SLE and I know my eating habits are helping to hurt my overall health. I have no been in remission with my Lupus for some time now and the flares are constant.

So there it is. I despise food and am a restrictive eater that borderlines on Anorexia. Not sure where to start but just wanted to purge