[Soft*Silver]

I am ashamed I did not include my mother...she was in the forefront of my mind but I wanted to get the others down so I wouldnt forget them..believing I would NEVER forget Mom...

well I did...

this woman was my rock. Even when I was at my worst, this lady carried me through. But dont believe for a moment she was a cuddly loving mother. Nope..i didnt get that from her. I got tough love. And for decades resented her for it. But then,as I got more and more sober, and with more therapy, I realized 1) she did what she could with what she had as a parent 2) she was dealing with alot of family baggage, her side, dad's side and us kids 3) she had her own compulsive problem with gambling 4) she lived in a time when women were second class citizens and yet she had to fight hard and give up so much to support the men in her life 5) the way her kids repaid her for all she did for the family was to commit suicide, give birth to an illigetimate baby (in a time when that was really taboo) and me, the drunken lesbian...

this woman was incredible for all she had to deal with. She taught me alot of things..including foremost how to be a good parent by watching her be a wonderful grandparent. (she sucked at being a parent!) She taught me how to have a long term relationship...a marriage. Her and my dad were married almost 50 years. She taught me what deal breakers are...and how so much we think are deal breakers, arent. But those that are, are unconditionally deal breakers. She taught me frugality and she taught me generosity.

how did I forget to mention this woman?

Originally Posted by softness

the nuns in my CCD Sunday School took a liking to me (hmmm) and worked with me to keep me from burning in hell. So far so good....

my drivers ed teacher who was my first lesbian relationship.

my sister was and still is my hero...

my daughter too...they have both survived some amazing things in this life..

my grandmother, the gypsy...she taught me so much...

my sponsors in AA...I just buried one of them and lord...I ache from how important they are in my life...

Samantha, from Bewitched. She was my first lady crush...

Alice Walker and Toni Morrison....their written words woke up parts of myself..