[always2late]

It takes quite a bit to get me really angry...and when I do, I will become very quiet and I've been told that I sound very cold and detached when I speak (defense mechanism). I will try to talk it out...but sometimes there comes a point where I just need to walk away (usually at the point where things have sunk to where we are either yelling, or getting ready to yell, at each other). I have told this to anyone I have ever been in a relationship with. If I get to the point where I need to walk...they need to let me go! The worst thing anyone can do to me is to try to prevent me from leaving...it makes me feel trapped and panicky. I will come back, and we will continue our discussion, however, at that point I am beyond listening, and if we both start to argue and yell, then NO ONE is listening. So, just let me walk...and cool off...and collect my thoughts. Usually when I come back I am in a MUCH better mood, and whatever the issue is will be resolved calmly and quietly.

When I was younger, my way of dealing with anger was entirely different. I have a very sharp tongue. And I would use it to slice at the person's weak spot, saying the most hurtful, painful thing I could think of. I learned this behavior from my mother. And I also learned that it was the one thing I could use against her. So..it became my weapon of choice when angry for a long time. As I matured, I realized that this was an ineffective and cruel way to deal with anger and, although it took some serious soul searching and work, I managed to change. I feel much better about the way I deal with anger now...it is much less damaging to me, and to those I care for.