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<snip> but i still have that need of a woman,the need to be comforted sometimes.I guess I will continue the struggle until I find out who I really am wheather it be butch or just a really manly femme <snip>
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I just picked this out as the crux of what I hear you saying....
The need to be comforted has absolutely nada, none, zip, nothing to do with your gender. The need to be comforted is a human need, not just a femme need or a woman need. It is absolutely also a butch need and a man need.
edited to add: In all the really long term relationships I know of................both individuals comforted the other when needed.........