[Gemme]

A few months ago....around the time of my birthday....I decided I really didn't like being the weight I was. I'm short and every pound feels and looks like much more on my frame. I didn't like the way I felt when I moved and I certainly didn't like growing out of my clothes. I also didn't like my inability to do things that I thought I should be able to do and/or not do them as well and gracefully as I thought I should.

So, I decided to do this whole 'healthier' thing again ("Healthy" feels like a black/white thing...like you either are or aren't. Healthier says "I'm trying" and sometimes that's all you can ask of yourself).

I won't ever be as dedicated as some of you are because I will not give up sugar. Notice, I said 'will not'. I can, of course. It's a small matter of willpower. But I won't do it. However, I did decrease my sugar consumption quite a bit and when I do eat and candy and sweets, I actually eat the true portion sizes, not what I think should be a portion (strangely enough, whole bags are not often '1 portion'....who knew?).

I've exchanged fatty/greasy/goal-eroding foods with lighter and mostly yummy options (there have been a few lessons learned in this department). I've learned that I can, indeed, eat chicken without the skin. Again, who knew?



I've increased my water intake and decreased my soda consumption. I readily admit to being a soda fiend. But 1-2 cans a day is certainly better for me than 4-6, no? I also mostly buy those lil baby cans that are about 100 calories per can and that still counts as 1 even though it's smaller than my usual cans. And sometimes my '1' is just a fraction of the can/bottle. But if I were to say 'no more' and deprive myself of the sweet stuff, I'd fail for sure.

I take more time when I eat and I try to gauge what it is that I am actually doing when I eat. Am I eating for fuel? Am I hungry or am I feeding something else? Am I upset, angry, sad, lonely, bored?

I move my body much more. I missed that. Being sedentary grows on you like a tumor and the weight of inactivity is far heavier than anything I will ever lift in the gym. I'm developing more of an appreciation for my body and noticing things that probably wouldn't have occurred to me if I weren't attached to an Arc trainer for an hour. Things like, my wrists are sexy when they are sweaty. That's not something that typically comes up in self-image discussions, but I know I sure feel better and stronger and more powerful when I glance down and see my effort gleaming like a diamond sheen on my skin.

I have a new wardrobe!!! I'm a bit of a packrat and this has come in handy lately as I've been falling out of my work pants. lol I absolutely LURVE that.

Music. I listen to music while I work out and, when I'm a dolt and I forget my MP3 player, it's not the same. Music motivates me and keeps me going when I feel my resolve and energy slipping. Music wakes me up when I'm sleepy and calms me down when I'm upset or trying to get to sleep.

Sleep. It's been mentioned several times and there's a reason for it. Everything gets wonky when we don't have enough sleep. Cortisol levels go up, crankiness ensues and that just makes for a bad day.

Sex. Whatever/whoever/whenever. Just make sure you have some, whether it's with yourself, an appliance or someone else.

Finding my happy. I've got a good handle on this but I'm open to learning about other things that make me happy. Sometimes it's crafty things, sometimes it's arranging the apartment, sometimes it's just me snuggling on the sofa with my silky pillows watching TV. Different things for different days.

And, with the Reunion coming up, I'm increasing my intake of Airborne.