I guess it's not so much a matter of femme/butch protectiveness, I mean, I would get defensive in any situation where a loved one is being judged or harassed or whatever.
But of course, witnessing the person we love the most and are in love with for being who they are, being harassed or attacked for those very reasons, is a very difficult thing to handle for anyone I guess.
My partner almost never loses her cool, I don't know how she does it, well, she is way calmer in every aspect of life, while I'm quite hot tempered and when I see strangers looking at her with disgust I can't help but stare back at them. If I'm feeling particularly sassy and/or annoyed I ask them "What, do you want a picture so you can stare some more?". Or I look at them up and down, up and down, until they turn their gaze away, embarassed. I've always been very good at the staring game, too! Haha!
My butch is very diplomatic and unless someone attacks her verbally or physically she just doesn't give the idiots the time of the day.
I wish I had some of her cool, and it drives me nuts how the same people who look at me in an accepting way look at her in a degrading way. She has asked me several times to let it go, and I understand that given her physical, mental and emotional strength she doesn't need me to defend her - hell, she's been through tougher times before we met - but the urge is strong.
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