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genghisfawn · 04-15-2012, 10:46 PM

Struggling with identity and how one fits into queer spaces is something I suspect everyone who isn't completely het, cis and vanilla has dealt with. I came out at 14 and got involved in my community, thus avoiding a deep depression and the suicide I'd threatened. When I was 21, I met a straight, cisgendered man and fell madly in love... but I never relented in how I IDed, and he, being a respectful, loving person (unicorn?) never objected and comfortably coexisted with my friends and community through respect and questions, questions, questions. We didn't last due to a lack of staying power, but what I took away from that is that there are so many ways of being that belong to what is queer, and that only a person hirself can truly identify hirself.

It's okay to be queer and accept the incredible complexity of being a person with a body, heart, mind and spirit... All of these things require care and respect. I hope anyone reading this thread who needs it comes away with an understanding that ze is the architect of hir own self and presentation, and whatever that happens to be is worthy of care.

04-15-2012, 10:46 PM	#17
genghisfawn Member How Do You Identify?: Femme/Gentlewoman Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: Happily married 05/17/14 Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 561 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,056 Thanked 2,157 Times in 403 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Struggling with identity and how one fits into queer spaces is something I suspect everyone who isn't completely het, cis and vanilla has dealt with. I came out at 14 and got involved in my community, thus avoiding a deep depression and the suicide I'd threatened. When I was 21, I met a straight, cisgendered man and fell madly in love... but I never relented in how I IDed, and he, being a respectful, loving person (unicorn?) never objected and comfortably coexisted with my friends and community through respect and questions, questions, questions. We didn't last due to a lack of staying power, but what I took away from that is that there are so many ways of being that belong to what is queer, and that only a person hirself can truly identify hirself. It's okay to be queer and accept the incredible complexity of being a person with a body, heart, mind and spirit... All of these things require care and respect. I hope anyone reading this thread who needs it comes away with an understanding that ze is the architect of hir own self and presentation, and whatever that happens to be is worthy of care.