umm....
maybe i'm getting the wrong message
my impression in all this is "marriage w/o sex...should i call it off"
to my understanding, even heterosexual marriages go through this, plenty of comedians point this out, i think one comic even stated "marriage is the death knell of awesome sex, you're settling down, u got the same person with you for Life"
My curiosity is the following, at the moment, we're young, so yeah, sex is..right up there with eating, and breathing {for the most part}, however, if you do manage to be together when you're old, gray and wrinkled...do you honestly think you're gonna want the same sexually active Life after 67? Even vanilla type sex..
Be honest.
I know a couple, been together for a very long time, they're straight mind you, she's 84, he's 82, they've been together since high school.
He openly tells me he lets her be in charge.Not something I'd ever doubt, cuz I've seen 'em together, he suggests a road to take, she refuses from the passenger seat , she tells him where to go, he goes, oftentimes we get hopelessly lost, but he doesn't say "Peep"{not in front of me, anyways}...
My guess is not much action in bed, not even with a Blue pill, but, they have each other, Good times, and Bad...I've seen him look much "older" on days she has been hospitalized for triple bypass check.
I've listened to her go on and on when he's sick.
We're not immune to these things..
If she doesn't have any "desire", I wouldn't presume to think it's you, or something the two of you are just Not doing 'right'..
Depression can affect sexual desire, but, not always..
I've been Depressed, I mean...very Depressed, not wanting to eat, curled in bed not Budging, clinical=type...I still found ways to let my partner know I loved 'em, and I'm sure she knows u love her, and vice versa...
I don't believe love = sex..
Just my opinion..
It's great, it's fun, it's delicious and perfect for a deeper Bond...
But it's not really needed to know the person cares.
When u get married, unless the vows are altered, I do recall somewhere "for better or worse, sickness & health"
Unless u added "as long as the sex is constant and good", I don't see how it should affect the marriage, if she shows somehow she has feelings for you.
The therapist idea is good, couples therapy could help in understanding the issue or feeling she might have that is causing the lack of desire, but..that's about it I think...
Just my 2cnts...