[Kätzchen]

Traveling to the grocery store, in a nearby town in the valley with her son, they listened quietly to the news on the radio station that day. The broadcaster had announced the strange happening at the secret park that had happened the following day. Both she and her son looked at each other with unusual looks. Returning to the driving at hand, as soon as the music continued, she found her way off the exit and took the nearest turn to the grocery store. Parking was at a premium that day, so farther out in the lot they would park this time. Her son said he was staying in the car to listen to the radio, while she went inside to purchase groceries for the next couple of weeks.

As she walked to the entrance of the store, she noticed someone entering the store in front of her. She knew them from the last three years of living in the valley. Although the womyn didn't see her, s/he was certainly there to do some grocery shopping too.

Noticing the attire of the womyn, she made some dreamy notes mentally about this particular tall and handsome womyn: dressed well, pressed slacks, a white button down shirt with a detailed matching leather vest, and brilliantly groomed hair that was spiked gently, thus indicating a newly shorn haircut. “Hmmmmmm,” she said to herself.

As she grabbed a cart and made her way in the store, she lost sight of the womyn she knew of in passing. Oh well, she had things to buy and errands to do today: at least she saw a wonderfully fine specimen of a butch womyn today. Haha! So, off she went to her usual places to find things in the store. First, she went to the butcher’s shop for some fresh fish and scallops. Then off to the produce section to purchase some pre-spring vegetables and winter squash; then off to the dairy aisle for milk and eggs and cheese; then she went to the bread aisle to find some special dark raisin bread for breakfast and some sourdough to make sandwiches for her sons’ lunches.

About that time, she realized that she had better get some paper products for the home, so she hurried over to get some Kleenex and toilet paper, cleaning products and some baggies for left over meals of the next few days. Right as she was bending over to pick up a huge laundry soap container, the butch womyn appeared from out of nowhere!

"Here, let me help you with that, it looks pretty heavy for you to lift," s/he said playfully.

She smiled at hir and said: "Well, thank you for that favor just now. I don't know if you knew it or not, but upon entering the store I saw you ahead of me and I couldn't remember your name to call out to you and say 'Hello'.”

Smiling with that smile that butch womyn usually produce with a gentle blush, s/he introduced hirself: “Hi, my name is Jacqueline, but you can call me JaK" as s/he lifted the heavy container up onto her cart in the store.

"JaK? Thankyou for helping me lift that terribly heavy container." Mostly feeling ready toward the front of the store and feeling horribly awkward at that moment, she managed to bring up the radio broadcast to Jak: "Did you hear the recent news on the radio about that strange happening out at the 'secret park' yesterday?"

JaK looked intently at her and said, "No o oooo...but I did hear something about a couple in the area breaking up and I wondered if that may have anything to do with what happened out at the secret park" s/he said.

They talked a few brief moments more and then exchanged good byes as she headed to the front of the store to pay for all the goods she selected. After giving the checker her money and heading outside with the cart of goods, once again the tall and handsome butch womyn approached her with hir small bag of goods.

"Do you need any help with that? " s/he inquired. Carefully weighing the outcome of such an offer, she told JaK that her son was waiting in the car and could help her unload the cart. She thanked hir for hir offer of help, but Jak looked at her as if s/he had something further to tell her.

"It was nice to see you today. I know you are in college, and I hear about how you are doing through various people we know of in the community. Sometime if you are able to carve out some time in your schedule, you should look me up and we could go out for tea or coffee or a drive. Everyone needs to get out once in a while during a hectic term. Here is my number. Call me sometime when you are free to go out."

Oooooooooooooh my (she thought to herself)!!! I better get myself to the car and have my son help with these groceries and remember to breathe.....slooooowly......and walk carefully....cuz lord knows what a klutz I can become when the trigger gets tripped! Carefully smiling back at Jak, and going on to the car, she felt like she blushed a thousand shades of brilliant reds at Jak. Her heart was going pitter patter and goddess only knew what that meant!

*Breathe, breathe, breathe*


Dearest Diary,

Goddess only knows how infernally lazy I can be when an approaching deadline with homework and midterms are due next week. It doesn't help either when you meet so many butches either! I hope I was able to keep my wits about me and not let it be known how lonely my life has been lately. Although you, dearest diary, know how much I long for a wonderful lover and partner to share my life with. Help me to just be okay with being alone and to actively deal with the loneliness by centering my thoughts on accomplishing my goals in college, one step at a time: Because it appears that time will keep going on and on. Help me to see and manage my time effectively: like with all the hot showers I take and the cold ones too and all the activities that I keep myself busy with at home and in college. Help me dearest diary, to make some time just for me. Dearest Dairy...it was nice to meet Jak today for the first time and to not just say ‘hi’ in passing. I don't know who s/he is or what they do for a living, here in this valley; but seemingly it was wonderful to have that brief contact with hir. I liked how s/he looked, smelled, and well, dearest diary??? Heaven help me when it comes to butches…

And just so you don’t think you’re getting off easy: Who was that butch anyways???