Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperFemme
I know YOU get it. What I want to know is how DO we reclaim the epitaths that are commonly used by outsiders to hurt a sub-group? I mean, there is the "Thats so gay" and such. Gay is not a slur any longer. So what about the slurs that runs neck in neck? Psycho? Retarded? Lame?
What of those of us who fit the descriptor? Can we not use it as a tool to just get through the bullshit? Why CAN'T we reclaim the word rather than use them as slurs? I know for me it takes the power of those who use the words as slurs?
|
There is SO much that comes to my mind with this thread, that I have not been able to express. So, I'll just start.
Here.
I think about when I was living in a major city, in a predominantly Black neighborhood where many folks starting referring to each other as "nigga" on the street as an offical greeting at the time - complete with hand grasp and big hug/back pat. There was clearly great pride, and some folks appreciated it, while others clearly did not.
I wouldn't say that to anyone Black. I remember my gay male friends years back reclaiming the word "faggot". I felt, like many of us did... "they could say it, but no one else had better use it". (Like against them.) Then, we start saying "dykes, lesi-humpers", whatever... Don't you say it though. WINK.
Today if you're close to folks, this can be exchanged affectionately back and forth! (Ya bunch of damn queers!! Or, "straight folks", whichever shoe fits... MUST-BE-AWARE-OF-EVERYSINGLEPERSONAND/ORLIFEFORM.)
Don't you think much of this topic concern is so relative to times, political climate and such? Like "Married With Children"... When it first came on, I laughed for probably some of the wrong reasons. I had been conditioned to a certain degree, yes. Then I became politically aware and was appalled at the show. Now, I laugh my butt off at it. I see it now as poking fun of folks - who poke fun of folks... (Like the Archie Bunker show. His show chair is in the Smithsonian for goodness sakes! A racist on the show, but "learning"...?) These shows were "ahead?" of their time and walking a fine "edgy" line. So, did I "regress", or change how I perceive things, what? I know I've changed and changed and grew, but you might not know it, if you don't know my journey.
Speaking of "butts". Songs like lyrics like "I like big butts", or "Fat Bottom Girl" by the group Queen... Offensive? He was a queen, could he write that? Blacks singing about loving large round booties, isn't that a beautiful thing to the women? (While, the white models are anorexic trying to be skin and bone - fucking dying to be "beautiful". That seems "nuts" to me, there I said it! Crazy reference.)
This IS and will be all over the place.
Sorry.
Jew-ed and gyp-ed will be offensive as it is referring to a group of people. A culture. Stereotyping. And I don't think with these particular histories: they joke about it amongst each other - or find any fondness with such qualities "inferred". (I'm not sure though, they may joke about it... I wouldn't, but I can't relate and feel thus I have no right. Can't "reclaim" what was never there to begin with for me.)
When I moved back from N.Y.C., ill at that time - and a friend of mine said "so and so was just a fucking cunt"! I nearly fell off the bar stool. That was such a horrible word to me. Now, I occassionally might use it, but verbally disclaim first stating: you know this is NOT a popular word, so it has to be a REALLY bad person for me to think or say such a thing.
But, if we grew up with that word usually being used after a woman was gang raped and [literally] pissed on... and in movies for
entertainment! It felt like such a horrible word.
Now, if women amongst theirselves want to have fun and reclaim that word. Is that a problem?
Using the rape word seems terrible to me. I've never used that expression in an anology situation (that I can recall anyway), and didn't even think of it until it was mentioned here. Some folks are even upset that fantasy role playing involves the concept of rape. Consenting adults... Is it wrong or unhealthy? Is it not good to enjoy it? I thought one way back in the day, newly dealing with violence politically in our society against women and now completely different - with regards to consenting adults doing their own thing.
Retarded. Again, one of those words where we had become politically aware to be sensitive and considerate about. Certain folks were called that, even if they simply couldn't talk - with a high IQ. I wouldn't use it, well - my Mom would have threatened us if we did so as kids. However, after a head injury friend said it to me during a phone conversation - I have been freed up here, walking around like "retard's" my special new Tourette's long lost [self included here] friend!
__
Super, even though the things you described a few post back are frigteningly horrific (the fires and such), now - that you're safe and past that period of your life, I found that funnier than hell that you wrote that! Hey, they could have used YOU in the Stone Age as a fire starter! LOL!! Or, "how could you REMEMBER to order a pizza 23 x's"? Ah, ha, ha! I can relate some.
Listen, I was in my local grocery store the other day. I shopped around a bit - it is NOT a pretty picture trust me. (I've wondered before what I must look like as a video short in a store - back and forth, no sense or logic to anything!) Then I thought... "OK I am done here now", and started hunting and hunting up and down the aisles for my basket. Looking repeatedly in the same exacts spots. I often move it around and set it down somewhere - out of harms way for trippers. So, every two minutes I'm flying past the cash register stating, "I can't find my damn basket"!!! Long story short, it was on the egde of the conveyor belt already. I forgot that I had set it down there - and then wondered off for something else (which I often DO). They know me there.
__
Anyway, "intention". Isn't that key, but then what about other folks sensibilities? I guess one person may have to "tone down" in certain forums, while other's have to grow thicker skin? What if a young person IS just learning that "GYPED" came from a stereotype of people - not that is was just a word that meant shorthand slang for "ripped off", spelled "jipped". Intention. Mistakes. I speak out myself when I am not comfortable hearing something. And I apologize if I offend anyone.
I am PISSED right now that things are "QUEER", back in the negative sense of the word - that folks are "gay acting", etc... is not exactly one nice compliment. That the straight kids are using this and it's becoming more and more acceptable. Does it help in ONE way, but hurt in another? Or neither?
If someone's heart is hurt. If folks are still in danger of being hurt physically for who they are... the "Howard Stern Sydrome" needs to stop - or be called out. (What I USED to call the Don Rickles mentality - but, many don't know who that is anymore.) Get a laugh at the joke/expense of others. Insult specialists! Look at how rich it has made Howard to be rude and insulting. Why wouldn't folks think that is cool and want to emulate that?
Right now I have major sundowners! I got up thinking it was Thurs. morning, and wondered how I would make it to tonight's Survivor - the only reality show of interest to me at this time. (Some seasons I like these shows and some I don't watch, or I don't want to get caught up addicted to them - and there are some "big meannies" on some of these shows! We have gotten too used to liking/accepting this negative crap, I feel.) Anyway, then, Rick Sanchez on CNN said, "Larry King up next live at nine". I shot my view to the window and thought, SHIT it is night time 9 o'clock, and I just missed my show!
I didn't even think about the word "crazy" being negative anymore. Old words have new meanings now, right? I joke about it - for myself. But, that has been such a long standard. Someone went "crazy on that guitar or drum solo"! It was a compliment at times! (Like "BAD" is the new "GOOD"!) I've said things like "they only have three burners working", or "dumber than a box of rocks". (And for myself too.) But, I was sensitive when I said these things to others, aware of it. It was usually directed at someone who had hurt someone. (Again, myself included.) SO, intention was perhaps not so "considerate" then? I was human and acted out a bit, in retaliation... in a protective mode(?) Did they have it coming? Is in excusable, forgiveable?
Would I call anyone "retarded", who was - or was someone I did not know, who could be? No. Would I call someone physically challenged, "lame"? No. Have I had lame excuses for things, "yes".
What is/are my point(s)? I don't know...
Sincerely,
WILDCAT
Rock on!