Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Question to butches and how they deal with differences in dating

SleepyButch · 01-17-2015, 05:24 PM

This stuff has been pretty fresh on my mind lately since I am putting my toes back into the dating pool.

The beauty of this whole thing is that we are all different. If I'm interested in someone enough to get to know them, I am flexible in how things play out. If she wants to be courted, I court her, meaning if I am really interested in getting to know someone and she wants me not to date anyone else, I don't.

If she just wants to date, I'm okay with that as well as long as I know where she stands and what she wants from dating. For example, if she NEVER wants to commit and just wants to have fun, depending on where I am in my life, I may just walk away. If she wants to take time to know me before any commitment then who am I to try to push her into monogamy when that is something she doesn't want at that point? Wouldn't that make her not like me very much from the get go?

In all honesty, my ego has a hard time understanding sometimes why someone I'm dating/getting to know would want to see someone else but that is not reality. That's just my own little fantasy. I like attention. What can I say? I know it doesn't work like that.

So back to your questions:

If someone I was interested in didn't want to commit until she knew me better, I'm okay with that. I would just date her. I wouldn't push her or give her an ultimatum. If I was wanting a committed relationship, I'd be honest with her about what I was looking for and that if we did click after several months, I would probably want that with her eventually.

I'm conflicted about the sex stuff though. I don't really like having sex with someone who is having sex with others but yet sex isn't always about monogamy either. Does that even make sense? So it would depend on the person I was getting to know on whether or not this would be a deal breaker for me.

I'm not really one to go around having multiple sex partners either when I'm looking for a special someone. Tried that in my last relationship and it was okay but not something I'd want long term I don't think.

Did I answer any of your questions or just manage to confuse everyone including myself?

Nothing is carved in stone and would like to think that most things are negotiable if I thought she was worth getting to know.

01-17-2015, 05:24 PM	#22
SleepyButch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dude Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: Taken Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Hidden Valley Ranch Posts: 3,510 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,220 Thanked 11,244 Times in 2,753 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	This stuff has been pretty fresh on my mind lately since I am putting my toes back into the dating pool. The beauty of this whole thing is that we are all different. If I'm interested in someone enough to get to know them, I am flexible in how things play out. If she wants to be courted, I court her, meaning if I am really interested in getting to know someone and she wants me not to date anyone else, I don't. If she just wants to date, I'm okay with that as well as long as I know where she stands and what she wants from dating. For example, if she NEVER wants to commit and just wants to have fun, depending on where I am in my life, I may just walk away. If she wants to take time to know me before any commitment then who am I to try to push her into monogamy when that is something she doesn't want at that point? Wouldn't that make her not like me very much from the get go? In all honesty, my ego has a hard time understanding sometimes why someone I'm dating/getting to know would want to see someone else but that is not reality. That's just my own little fantasy. I like attention. What can I say? I know it doesn't work like that. So back to your questions: If someone I was interested in didn't want to commit until she knew me better, I'm okay with that. I would just date her. I wouldn't push her or give her an ultimatum. If I was wanting a committed relationship, I'd be honest with her about what I was looking for and that if we did click after several months, I would probably want that with her eventually. I'm conflicted about the sex stuff though. I don't really like having sex with someone who is having sex with others but yet sex isn't always about monogamy either. Does that even make sense? So it would depend on the person I was getting to know on whether or not this would be a deal breaker for me. I'm not really one to go around having multiple sex partners either when I'm looking for a special someone. Tried that in my last relationship and it was okay but not something I'd want long term I don't think. Did I answer any of your questions or just manage to confuse everyone including myself? Nothing is carved in stone and would like to think that most things are negotiable if I thought she was worth getting to know. __________________ . You cannot embrace those things that will not embrace you back.