[PumaJ]

I've been talking a lot with friends about just saying I'm Queer. Not to say that I'm not a Lesbian and not to say I'm not Femme. Rather, it is to stand in the truth, i.e. that I live outside of the mainstream gender ID/sexuality/gender role dichotomy.

My fabulous daughter, who although not a Lesbian despite have a Lesbian & Gay Man as bio parents, did introduce me to a new concept that shook up my brain for a couple of days. We were talking about folks who are Bi vs. those who are hetero but could be sexual with someone else of their same gender/sex. She called such folks "hetero-flexible". Then we talked about Gay men & Lesbians who could be sexual with a woman or man respectively, on a rare occasion, as being "homo-flexible". Different than being Bi because the flex folks are really hetero, Gay or Lesbian. Then we talked about folks who are Gayley Bi. Meaning Bi but leaning toward more involvements with a person of their same gender/sex.

My daughter does ID as Bi, and has been married to my son-in-law forever. They became involved with another male & female married couple almost 2 yrs. ago. Very tight poly relationship now. My son-in-law ID's as hetero-flexible. LOL!

I decided, finally, that it is all getting too complicated, really. Just claiming Queer kind of covers all of us who not hetero. At least to my way of thinking it does.

I can't let it be my problem if folks I know can't get it about me, i.e. how could a woman who is so Femme be a Lesbian? 'Cause truth is, I'm not going to have such folks in my closest circle anyway, so it really doesn't matter.