Tomorrow it will be a month since my father passed. I keep thinking I have these emotions under control until all of a sudden it blind sides me, I was re-caulking my bathtub and talking to my boi about how we need to replace several tile on the wall and did hy know how to do that? I said oh its ok honey I will just call my dad... Insert full blow meltdown here while sitting in the bathtub.
I understand that talking really does help and crying is normal and even anger is not unusual, but I don't think I can deal with these complete meltdowns much more.
I too have a brother who commited suicide when I was a teen. It was over half my lifetime ago and it still at times feels so fresh and raw even though I have really processed and worked through those emotions. I miss him and can't help but wonder what kind of man he would be, what kind of relationship would we have and how much fun we would have had picking on the folks.
Everyone here who has shared their personal losses very sincerely have my condolences and
I understand.