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MarineCorps1 · 04-16-2012, 06:55 PM

First, I'd like to thank all for their responses here. There's a LOT that can be learned from those who went before that can help the rest of us, especially us late bloomers.

I was 29 when it finally hit me that I was interested in women. And it took a female physically flirting with me to make it click (yeah, I'm one of those that needs to be hit over the head with things). When it did, it was like a bomb went off. I was married to man I loved dearly and whom I'd been with for 14 years, I was an active member of a church that DEFINITELY frowned on such things. I fought it and fought it until ultimately (I admit with great shame), I had an affair. At that point, there was no turning back.

When I left, I moved to a small town, and I lived alone. I didn't feel safe with people knowing my inclinations, nor did I have an outlet of real people to turn to. The internet became my primary source of information and contact. Unfortunately, in a lot of ways, it still is. It's only been two years since all this went down, and I've tested the waters a bit and found that there are sharks on BOTH sides, and in some online communities it's like being in high school all over again. THIS adolescence, however, is going to be VERY short-lived for me. It took me twenty nine years to figure out where I stood and another three until I was able to be myself and I'm NOT giving that up for anybody - damn well not my own kind.

I think, as a newbie, that if I'd had anyone to give me advice, I would have wanted the heads up that there are so many people within the community who are still dead set on pushing you into a role. You're either butch or femme, and that's that, and if you're one then you should be with the other, etc., and that's all bullshit. So that's my advice to people who are just coming out - whether your adversaries are straight or gay, STAND YOUR GROUND. Be who you are and don't let anyone push you around. It mat be lonely that way for a while, but you'll be able to live with yourself at the end of the day, and eventually you'll find real people who'll care about you as you are. And THAT level of friendship is absolutely priceless.

04-16-2012, 06:55 PM	#28
MarineCorps1 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: queer/boi Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: pittsburgh Posts: 23 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 49 Thanked 95 Times in 21 Posts Rep Power: 675287	First, I'd like to thank all for their responses here. There's a LOT that can be learned from those who went before that can help the rest of us, especially us late bloomers. I was 29 when it finally hit me that I was interested in women. And it took a female physically flirting with me to make it click (yeah, I'm one of those that needs to be hit over the head with things). When it did, it was like a bomb went off. I was married to man I loved dearly and whom I'd been with for 14 years, I was an active member of a church that DEFINITELY frowned on such things. I fought it and fought it until ultimately (I admit with great shame), I had an affair. At that point, there was no turning back. When I left, I moved to a small town, and I lived alone. I didn't feel safe with people knowing my inclinations, nor did I have an outlet of real people to turn to. The internet became my primary source of information and contact. Unfortunately, in a lot of ways, it still is. It's only been two years since all this went down, and I've tested the waters a bit and found that there are sharks on BOTH sides, and in some online communities it's like being in high school all over again. THIS adolescence, however, is going to be VERY short-lived for me. It took me twenty nine years to figure out where I stood and another three until I was able to be myself and I'm NOT giving that up for anybody - damn well not my own kind. I think, as a newbie, that if I'd had anyone to give me advice, I would have wanted the heads up that there are so many people within the community who are still dead set on pushing you into a role. You're either butch or femme, and that's that, and if you're one then you should be with the other, etc., and that's all bullshit. So that's my advice to people who are just coming out - whether your adversaries are straight or gay, STAND YOUR GROUND. Be who you are and don't let anyone push you around. It mat be lonely that way for a while, but you'll be able to live with yourself at the end of the day, and eventually you'll find real people who'll care about you as you are. And THAT level of friendship is absolutely priceless.