[Lynn]

I've come to recognize that my online and earthly worlds do not coincide very often. Individuals and their identities are much more complex than their labels. It doesn't matter if I agree with someone's definitions, as long as they don't impose their views on me.

I'm a lesbian. That is my chief identity as far as describing who attracts me, who I love, and how I view the world. Of course, I have other identities, but they are definitely influenced by my self-view as a lesbian. For me, there is a historical and political perspective that is the context for who I am as a partner, a mother, and a worker. Coming to the point of self-understanding, self-acceptance, and a level of comfort has truly been a challenge. I won't play "your challenges have been greater than mine" game. My challenges have been representative of both the women's community at large, and what the community faced through the 70's and forward, as well as of my own struggles with family and personally. All are valid, and all have paved the way for the triumphs and challenges faced by the next generation.

When I first discovered a butch-femme online community, I was told that I was "a lesbian" not "a femme" so I didn't really belong. I do belong. I am a woman who loves butch women. I don't consider it a label, I consider it a description. Women in my community hate the idea of butch or femme, equating it with role playing or something put on. They don't understand that there is a range of self-expression just as there is a range of personal preferences. As a more feminine woman, I have been told I'm not someone's type more than once. If they can have preferences, so can I.