Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - How do you communicate when you're angry?

imperfect_cupcake · 11-27-2012, 02:10 AM

It really depends on the dynamic with the person. however, I find it waaaaayyyyyyy easier if people can take the piss (tell me they are going to throw me off a bridge, tell me to shut up [not in an angry Axis of Evil kind of way but a auuuugh I love you but I'm gonna skin you in a minute, kind of way], tell me I am driving them to drink ajax milkshakes etc) because making me and her laugh during those kinds of moments lightens the mood of the frustation. so one can be yelling *and* laughing *and* frustrated *and* actually interested in solving the issue all at the same time, rather than it being all quiet, sparkly and earnest, heavy and super serious. I had a partner who was "respectful" in that way and frankly it felt like discussing a load of old bricks every time some thing "serious" came up. Like talking in a wet lesbian potato sack.

No thanks.

After spending 10 years in the UK and hanging out with Australians, Kiwis, Irish, Welsh, Scot... no. I'd rather have an arsey, fun, laughing, expressive discussion with piss taking where shut up doesn't mean disrespect, it means "offs!"... when me and my mom were barking a bit while I was trying to get her finances done in an excel sheet, she said
"well you'd never make an IT help desk. You are far too aggressive. the boys at the school are much nicer."
"ok mom. would you like me to (suddenly speaking in a gentle customer service voice) help you? well if you would like to just please wait for a moment while I get your - "
Laughing "oh fuck off."
"exactly. now shut up so I can work."

I dunno. I never want to go back to discussions I can't laugh in, no matter how angry I am. I can't take the wet, oh so serious, lesbo drama anymore. Even if we are discussing something very serious. There's a way to mix it. And yes, someone telling me to shut up, fuck off, I'm going to tie you to a railway track in a minute etc, does make me laugh (granted, tone is everything. But you can say "nice" things in a shite tone and it still sounds like cold sick).

I know some people can't cope with that, and I'd never be a good partner for them. They'll find me disrespectful and rude, I'll find them overly dramatic and wet.

Salt for everyone's pepper, luckily.

11-27-2012, 02:10 AM	#92
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,726 Times in 1,613 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	It really depends on the dynamic with the person. however, I find it waaaaayyyyyyy easier if people can take the piss (tell me they are going to throw me off a bridge, tell me to shut up [not in an angry Axis of Evil kind of way but a auuuugh I love you but I'm gonna skin you in a minute, kind of way], tell me I am driving them to drink ajax milkshakes etc) because making me and her laugh during those kinds of moments lightens the mood of the frustation. so one can be yelling and laughing and frustrated and actually interested in solving the issue all at the same time, rather than it being all quiet, sparkly and earnest, heavy and super serious. I had a partner who was "respectful" in that way and frankly it felt like discussing a load of old bricks every time some thing "serious" came up. Like talking in a wet lesbian potato sack. No thanks. After spending 10 years in the UK and hanging out with Australians, Kiwis, Irish, Welsh, Scot... no. I'd rather have an arsey, fun, laughing, expressive discussion with piss taking where shut up doesn't mean disrespect, it means "offs!"... when me and my mom were barking a bit while I was trying to get her finances done in an excel sheet, she said "well you'd never make an IT help desk. You are far too aggressive. the boys at the school are much nicer." "ok mom. would you like me to (suddenly speaking in a gentle customer service voice) help you? well if you would like to just please wait for a moment while I get your - " Laughing "oh fuck off." "exactly. now shut up so I can work." I dunno. I never want to go back to discussions I can't laugh in, no matter how angry I am. I can't take the wet, oh so serious, lesbo drama anymore. Even if we are discussing something very serious. There's a way to mix it. And yes, someone telling me to shut up, fuck off, I'm going to tie you to a railway track in a minute etc, does make me laugh (granted, tone is everything. But you can say "nice" things in a shite tone and it still sounds like cold sick). I know some people can't cope with that, and I'd never be a good partner for them. They'll find me disrespectful and rude, I'll find them overly dramatic and wet. Salt for everyone's pepper, luckily.