[SleepyButch]

Originally Posted by pajama

Hi everyone. I am looking for some positive feedback on an issue I have come across.

Briefly - I had two very close friends years ago that we had a major altercation and haven't spoken in years. What was done doesn't really matter, we all contributed in some way. I feel I was wronged and I hold a grudge. (Good, bad, mature, or not, it is how I am.) We do not speak, have not in over six years, do not communicate with each other.

Today I received an e-mail from one of them saying she had stopped drinking and smoking (weed) and was working a program. She is making amends and apologized for her part in what happened. Basically apologizing for judging me.

Here is my dilemma. I am all for someone working their program and recovery. So I want to acknowledge this step and apology. But did I mention I hold a grudge? I don't feel I can say "I accept your apology". I am not at a place yet to forgive (hell I'm still holding a grudge against someone else that's over 20 years old, so our 6-7 years isn't even a start yet).

I don't want to ignore it, or be a bitch or throw it in her face. I may not respect or like her, but I respect the hell out of the program. And for that I feel I must respond.

Would some of you please share with me if you ever had anyone not accept your apology. Or what would be a supportive way to respond to this?

While some of you may feel just forgiving her is the solution, that's not an option. While you're free to express that opinion, it really won't help me in this situation and help is what I'm asking for.

Thanks to any that feel like replying.

A

How about not even addressing the apology and just saying something like I'm happy to see you take steps to make your life better. Isn't that what the apology is about? Part of the program? That way you acknowledge her progress but don't have to accept the apology.

Just a thought anyway.