[JAGG]

Here is my rule on it. I don't try to reason with an irrational person. I see they are angry , so I give them a little more forgiveness than normal. I don't pay attention to their "immature" venting style. I filter through it let it roll off me and get to the heart of the issue, try to address what is really upsetting them. I am very thick skinned most things like this don't effect me much. I don't engage in name calling and I avoid using the words always and never. A few things that work for me are, when your loved one is ranting at you , don't get defensive it's not you against her, it's not about who is right and who is wrong, what matters is the person you love is upset . Listen to what she is really saying to you.
Then remind her and yourself that you are on her side, you are on the same side, you are on the same team. There is no need to get so upset if you communicate properly all along.
If you are taking digs at each other you are not being honest about things with each other and you are not communicating very well about how you feel , what you want and expect. It always boils down to honesty, if you can't be honest with yourself and them about all things, problems will always escalate. Just my 2 cents worth.