[jac]

This was a day unlike any other I’ve had in quite some time. I had managed to show up late for work to find that I was unanimously selected for the job of guarding Ms. Sophia Swoon. “Since you decided to extend your vacation by an extra two hours, we took it upon ourselves to give you the sugar case of the week,” the chief said to me sarcastically as he slapped the file in my hands. The sugar case, as we like to call it, is really not as sweet as it sounds. It’s the case that we all fight to not get stuck with. Literally, we take it to the ring and battle it out. However, because I wasn’t around for the briefing this morning I get the shit end of the stick. I get the sugar case.

I sauntered to my desk as I listened to the snickers and sneers of my cohorts. It was basically the walk of shame but I wasn’t going to allow them to get the better of me. I had just returned from a two-week vacation in Hawaii and nothing, not even the sugar case or these goons, were going to break my spirits. “So, lover boi, care to share your gigolo excursions with us unfortunate souls?” asked Max, my lifelong friend and the best person to cover your ass in a barroom brawl. “I’ll have to get back to you on that, buddy. Here comes the chief and we all know I’m on his shit list right now. So get out of here while I still have an ass for him to chew out,” I said as I opened the sugar case file.

“Vice, you have less than fifteen minutes to absorb that information before the file goes to the lock down vault. I suggest you make yourself very familiar with Ms. Swoon’s case,” remarked the chief as he walked past my desk continuing to bark out orders to the others. Obviously, Vice isn’t my real name. Max gave it to me when we first started this bodyguard position. I tend to go for the throat when push comes to shove. Hy claims I have a vice grip hold when it comes to choking my opponent out. “Will do,” I said in response to the chief’s order.

First things first, where’s her picture? I flipped through the paperwork to discover that there was no picture available. “Great. This is why I hate getting the sugar case. The information is sparse and carries an element of mystery.” Did I mention that I hate mysteries, well I do. Most of us that work here hate the mystery cases. I’m one of those people that need all the facts. I don’t have the time or the patients for games. Continuing to look over the file I discovered that Sophia is the owner of our local lesbian lounge and nightclub. She’s lived in the area for the past seven years and has recently separated from her long-term relationship of twelve years. This must be why she needs a bodyguard?

“Okay, hand it over,” said the chief with an extended hand. “Come on, chief, give me some more information. This file was pointless. There’s no picture, nothing that describes her and there’s hardly any description of what she needs protection from. I’m guessing here, but… Is it her ex?” I said as I gave him the file. “To be honest, Vice, I haven’t a clue. She called the office asking for a guard to come to her nightclub tonight. Her request included that the guard order an exotic drink and stand against the far wall near the rainbow flag. She wants you there by ten o’clock,” the chief said as he walked off whistling.

“You know why we selected you for the job, right? It’s because you just got back from Hawaii and you’re the infamous connoisseur of exotic drinks,” laughed Heather, the world’s biggest closet case this side of the Mississippi River. She’s actually one hot number but her personality kills any desire I have to get in her pants. Max on the other hand has the hots for her. Good luck with that one, buddy. “So, Vice, are you wanting some backup tonight?” Max asked from over the partition between our desks. “Nah, that won’t be necessary. I’m not sure what this case will entail but I don’t foresee it getting overly intense,” was my reply.

I left the office early to run a few errands since I had been out of town for two weeks. My last stop was the bank before heading to the apartment to get ready for this evening’s excursions. The lines were crazy long. I took a wild pick and got in line behind a skirt. This woman was pretty attractive from my point of view… the rear. Now mind you, I’m not some chauvinistic goon by any stretch of the word but in my mind, and my mind only, I tend to call the lusty, business types… skirts. I don’t know, I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that I stay aroused most of the waking part of my day.

Anyway, this woman stood about five foot three but with her heels she was a bit taller. She had a really nice figure. You know, the type of woman that’s not thin but is proportioned nicely in just the right places. Her hair went past her shoulders and was a medium color brown with blonde highlights. Her dress went to her knees and had one of those slits right up the backside. The contour of her ass was amazing, not too small but not too big either. Her calf muscles were perfectly cut, as well. She was flawless.

As I managed to get lost in the view, I heard faintly from behind me, ”You can move up now,” in a not so pleasant voice. Without an acknowledgement to the words I took a few steps closer to said skirt, smelling her perfume, as I neared her body. Instantly I was brought back to the moment when files and papers fell from her hands to the floor. Being the gent that I am, I rushed ahead of her to assist with the retrieval of her paperwork. “Thank you so much,” she said as we both gathered the papers. “Oh, not a problem, it kind of breaks the monotony of standing in line, if you know what I mean,” I replied with a smile and a wink.

She was already standing looking down at me with a smile that could stop a thousand ships. Hell, it pretty much stopped my heart right there. Slowly I began to raise myself to a standing position with the last of her papers in my hands. With a giggle she reached for them, “I’ll take those, thank you and you might want to close your mouth before you start drooling.” Oh shit, wasn’t I embarrassed! I resumed my position behind her with what, I’m sure, was an obvious flush to my face.

Although, I would love to ask her out, I’m kind of hoping I never see her again. I wouldn’t know what I could possibly say that would justify my actions of some wet behind the ears adolescent horn-dog. No, I am who I am and that’s Syr Casanova Vice. “See you around, handsome,” she said to me with a wink as she walked in the direction of the next available clerk. With a smile and nod of the head, I acknowledged her comment. “Good afternoon, Ms. Swoon,” the clerk said as she approached his booth.