Quote:
Originally Posted by Morgan
I was diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago and was prescribed adderal, but the dose was too much and I know from my really early years, the effects of speed. Clenching my teeth, heart racing, so went back to my doctor and asked if I could go on a lower dose, she prescribed a little lower and things seemed great. My life was back on track, I was taking college courses, getting A's, had the perfect job and was able to concentrate on tasks, getting raises and promotions, perfect right? The Adderal finally kicked my butt, I was a friggin speed freak. I do have ADHD and Adderal works, but do I want to live the rest of my life addicted to a drug or is there a way to learn how to concentrate and function without the medication? I don't have to be perfect, but I want to be normal, I don't want my mind wandering, I want to stay on track, I want to have normal conversations with people without acting like I am disinterested in the conversation, and most of all I don't want to cut off people in the middle of a conversation with what is in my own head and not part of the conversation. It is hard to make friends and be around people and have heathy relationships with women, when you appear to be spaced out, dis-interested and most of all rude.......
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Years ago I decided to stop wanting to be "normal". That is a nebulous concept to begin with and having that as a goal never leads to happiness imho. I changed the wording in my head from normal to
functional. Being as functional as I can be is a more realistic goal without the sting of judgment attached to it. However, with my myriad of diagnoses (addict, PTSD, agoraphobia, bipolar, ADD) I still have to keep my expectations more realistic. My unsolicited advice is to drop the word normal from your list of goals.
As for the addiction, all I can say is if you are only taking the amount prescribed and not taking it for reasons other than your ADD, then you are ok. If, however, you are finding yourself fiending for it, tempted to take more or are taking more than prescribed, and/or taking it for other reasons (to party, to deal with stress, etc.) then it is a problem and you should talk to your doctor about it. Above all, be honest with yourself. It sounds like you already are, and that is good. I wish you the best of luck and if you do need to take something else instead of the adderal, I hope that you find something less addicting that works just as well.
