[laruss]

1. What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago?
I can follow my dreams because I now have defined them and know that I am worth the hard work and I am worth the happiness that ensues when you follow your dreams.

2. What's been on your mind most lately?
My life, where I am going, what I want and how I will get there.

3. In order of importance, how would you rank: happiness, money, love, health, fame?
happiness, love, health, money, fame

4. Right now, at this moment, what do you want most?
Space, space to paint, write and explore. And this sense of happiness and peace to continue.

5. What word best describes the way you’ve spent the last month of your life?
Happy, truly happy.

6. What is the #1 motivator in your life right now?
Knowing that I alone am responsible for my happiness.

7. In one sentence, who are you?
I am a happy, grateful being.

8. What do you want to be known for?
Being the person who changed the most, the person who loved the most.

9. If you had to move 3000 miles away, what one thing would you miss most?
My friends and impromptu get togethers with them.

10. In one year from today, how do you think your life will be different?
I will be living in a new place, experiencing a new time in my life. Creating, loving, being.

11. Who makes you feel good about yourself?
I do, and I have some great friends that add to that. I really am lucky to have the people I do in my life.

12. What are the top three qualities you look for in a friend?
I would have to say Honesty, Loyalty and Openness.

13.What has fear of failure stopped you from doing?
Is it fear of failure or fear of success? My life up until this last year seems like it has been riddled with fear. Although not fear of adventure, I have made sure to do new things as often as possible. Okay the question was 'What has fear of failure stopped you from doing' and I would have to say - Completing my degree. Oh, that's scary to even say. I didn't think I could keep up the marks all the way through so it was easier to not do it. I now know that I just have to get through it and enjoy it as much as possible, even if I don't have honors that doesn't take away from completing it.

14. What is something you have always wanted since you were a kid?
An education. To be the first Phd in my family.

15. What stands between you and what you want?
Myself, it is amazing how we make justified excuses when we are afraid of something.

16. What do you do when nothing else seems to make you happy?
Lately most everything makes me happy, but my way of expressing is my art and writing. My art journal is perfect for that, I make sure I have art and writing on each and every page before I sign off on it. And when in doubt I call a friend who can ease me and make me laugh.

17. When did you first realize that life is short?
When my husband died. Not when my mom died at 56, but when my husband died at 50. My mom had been sick for a long time and I guess I thought of it as a relief for her and us (even though I missed her), but when my husband at 50 years old fell asleep and never woke up... that made me sit up and take notice. Well as soon as I was able to move again.

18. What do you need to spend more time doing?
Moving, I sit to write, I sit or stand to do my art. I need to move more.

19. What issues do you continually refuse to confront?
My first thought was my weight, but I have to say no, I have always known that when I dealt with the issues I would lose the weight. I have tried with many therapists and different programs to deal with those issues to no avail. But I have constantly looked at and confronted that. Hmmm, this is a tough one as I am one of those people who constantly is looking at their sh*t to see what needs to be changed, what can be improved on. So honestly I am struggling to come up with something I have refused to confront. I am going to ask my friends if they can think of something. Maybe I'm refusing so hard I don't see it.

20. What’s something a lot of people do that you disagree with?
Download movies and music from the internet without paying for it. I have always had an issue with this. I have an itunes account and I either rent or buy the movies I want to watch. My friends know this about me so they no longer offer to make a disc for me and if we are getting together for movie night they usually let me bring the movie as they know I want watch it if it is "stolen".

21.What’s a common misconception people have about you?
That I have to have everything done my way. It doesn't need to be done my way but if no one else is going to step up I will take the lead. I am happy to have someone else lead... as long as someone leads. Step up, don't wait for me to do it.

22.What’s something no one can take away from you?
My integrity, my beliefs, my happiness.

23. What is something that you would hate to go without for a day?
Hate, hate is a huge word... I guess I would have to say - My knowing. I would hate to even for one day question everything I know and I am. There are moments I may do this about something or other, but to lose that all encompassing knowing I have about myself, even for one day would be devastating.

24. When you look into the past, what do you miss the most?
I can't think of anything really, because all my losses have made me who I am today and today I am pretty happy.

25. What memory from this past year makes you smile the most?
The birth of my two granddaughters.

26. What’s the number one change you need to make in your life in the next twelve months?
I need to make sure I am always living for me and no one else as life is too short.

27. If not now, then when?
Oh, this is so true. Now.

28. What have you done that you are truly proud of?
Learned to ride a motorbike at 43. Given my kids the space I never got. Learned to follow my passion and stop letting 'real' life get in the way. That's not real life, living who you are is real life.

29. What’s something new you recently learned about yourself?
I can be anything I want and I want to be an artist and a writer. Oh wait, I am an artist and a writer. And that I am lovable for who I am.

30. What do you want to remember forever?
I want to remember how much I was/am loved by those in my life.

31. What could society do without?
Small minded people is the first thing that comes to my mind. That and probably fear driven religions.

32. What is one thing right now, that you are totally sure of?
I am loved

33. If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would your message be?
Live your passion, follow your dreams, be creative in everything that you do, be true to yourself.

34. What’s something you said you’d never do, but have since done?
Contact my biological father, thankfully he never responded.

35. What’s something you changed your mind about when you grew older?
I had said I would never have more children and now I really want to have that experience again. I have no desire to give birth again, but to give a loving home to a child/ren that needs it would be fantastic. Crazy thoughts for a Grandma, lol.

36. What didn’t last forever, but was still worth your while?
My relationships, good or bad, they made me who I am today.

37. If you could go back in time and tell a younger version of yourself one thing, what would you tell?
Be true to yourself, don't let others tell you who you should be.

38. If you knew you were dying in 60 seconds, what would your last words be?
Good bye and thank you for being a part of my life. My hope would be that 60 seconds would be long enough to get that message out to everyone who had been a part of my life.

39. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
Before this year I would have said no as I have always been about the experiences, but now that I am a writer it will probably all equal out.

40. What questions do you often ask yourself?
Why? I often ask myself why am I doing something, why did I say something, why do I think that, why do I think they think that. I have this innate curiosity that needs to know the why of everything.