[AtLast]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

lol you sound pretty similar to inki, cept she has larger boobs and a 50's Glam Model type figure - tall blonde hour glass. So when she's not inhabiting the genr that is totally aligned with it, she looks at her body in the mirror and says "jesus look at that. fuckin hot. But I'm not really there as me. why is this mine?" then she winds up perving over her own boobs. lol it's like a guy somehow gets in there and goes "phwar look at - hey it's mine????!?"

And it's a surprise, every time. gender memory of a gold fish. swim around the bowl once and surprise one's self every time. LOL!

She has one other butch mates who has the same fluidity and same body. When they met at my birthday they spent *hours* talking and agreeing. Was rally nice to see. Especially cause I get along very well with that butch's gf - who's a construction worker with long black pigtails and can wield a jackhammer.

I tend to not really hang all that much with people who are ID blah-blah. Most people I know are pretty fluid, have been comfortable with where they are in the gender spectrum, know how they ID but don't feel the needs to really state it over and over and they don't really subscribe to much. it's a very comfortable place to be, for me and for inki. I do want to bring her to some events in Seattle/Portland/Eugene/San Fran but I am slightly nervous about it. If people start making butch-femme jokes and stereotyping or talking about their ID and positioning everything around them, ID wise, I know she'll just get up and leave (bless the dutch directness) with no excuses.


oh shit! bugger I have a coffee to go to!!

bbl! xx

This post is a breath of fresh air.... and Met, you seem to be my US breath of fresh air about all of this. No, I am not putting anyone down, but, the continual preoccupation with gender identifications here and in the real-time B-F population really makes me nuts sometimes.

Tell Inki that I for one would be getting up with her without excuses. giver her my applause! Do this myself in the SF Bay Area around this when this nonsense gets going to the point that things like a person's character, values, ways of treating others, heart & soul get side-lined and their gender identity is the be all and end all.

I know that for some on the site there just are not many opportunities to discuss gender identity where they live (and the pain that dealing with gender dysphoria can have), but I am really much more interested in a person's integrity and honor.... them as a human being. Not to mention that I personally tire of butch identity always getting framed in these terms. Butch is much more than this (and has a personal meaning for each and every one of us) . Yet, it too is not the whole of someone. I has stopped using butch for myself much of the time because of how very tired I am of so much of the conflict over it as an identity. That is how it is for me presently.

Lately, I have been introduced to more B-F persons from the UK, australia and South Africa. A small group of friends now living here. They really are just not hung-up on so much of this identity stuff. Not the butches, transgendered, FtM's, MtF's or femmes. None of them. It has been a welcome experience for me in many ways, but especially with this. Just feels freer for me. I always have space to learn from others.