[sylvie]

Been awhile since i have posted in here, and it's for a reason.
A few months ago i started to lose motivation with my journey..
Working out less, not following my plan of eating diligently, and sadly i was continuously setting myself up a lot.

Over those few months, it got harder and harder to stay on track.
i felt like i was letting go.. And then a couple of weeks ago, it happened.
i broke my abstinence.

i really think it was necessary for that to happen. And the more i think about it, the happier i am that it happened. Sometimes hitting a rock bottom is what is needed to help us grow.. i needed some self acceptance.. i needed to admit to myself i truly 'was' powerless over food.. i was saying i was, but clearly wasn't registering that because i wasn't ever moving forward..

Frustrating, for a long while. But this week, something happened.
i had 4 days off, and i used every single one of those days to the best of my ability to physically change my recovery plan, one step at a time i broke everything down and was completely honest with myself and what i needed.

my Sponsor has been a huge help for me, along with someone else in OA that i've met.. The three of us plan a meet each week, and work the steps together outside of our face to face meeting on Monday nights. The fact i am accepting help now, admitting i cannot do this all on my own as i was doing and embracing my Spiritual guidance as well, are all big steps and knowledge that i am finally starting on the right and much needed path to recovery..

It's been a very difficult, low feeling few weeks especially.
But like usual, i find my way, find my strength and i pull myself up, dust myself off and i learn from my experiences, my thoughts and my inner boo boo's..

Progress, not perfection, right? One baby step at a time, for me.
So this passed week, i reworked my program, my abstinence list, my plan of eating.. i attended meetings, surrounded myself with the support of OA, meditated and sought guidance from my Higher Power and i now feel like i am in a much better place, and ready to keep working through the challenges bit by bit by very small bit..

i can't do this at anyone else's pace, except my own..
And i have plenty of time..

Been putting my progress on my facebook page..
As well as my YouTube channel, which i just started..
it's been very recovery focused for the first couple of videos..
But i have plans for sharing recipes, exercises and many different things that work for me for positivity & positive results.

♥ Hope you are all doing well, those who share & those who read and share with me in private.. love to you all! xx